Laylee
by lovinglife89
Summary: Only 2Lbs, she is, but she will change their lives forever. Rory and Logan deal with the most extraordinary of miracles, and the feelings that ensue.
1. Chapter 1

"Happy suppose to be birthday, baby"

Rory is looking at the tiny sleeping baby in the bassinet. She doesn't remember Gigi being so little when she was first born, or Will, or Jaime, or even Steve and Kwan. She looks at Laylee, and has to remind herself that yes, she is hers. That tiny little thing, with big blue eyes and a tiny bit of brown hair is, actually, her baby girl. She is so tiny, yet so big. They brought her home only yesterday, 12 weeks minus a day old, and weighing 4Lbs, 5OZ. Itsy bitsy little thing- yet so big already. Rory looks at her, and notices that the little preemie sized sock is actually staying on her tiny foot and not sliding off. Cloths seem to fit her better, and she doesn't seem lost in her diaper anymore. She looks at the little miracle sleeping calmly and she knows, she just knows, something is wrong.

They have only been home for a day, and Rory is already feeling trapped. Its May, it's so pretty out and Rory is trapped inside and cannot leave. In her, errr, no, in their cute little house, that now feels like a little prison cell. She hasn't seen her mother or Lane or even Honor in days and will probably not see them in weeks and she can't help but think that it could have all been different. Laylee is so little and fragile that they were told upon discharge from the NICU that she should be around other children as little as possible and really, around as little people as possible. "If you want to avoid having to come back into the hospital, I would suggest just sticking to home and walks with the stroller for the next couple of months" The professor said. She was too afraid to take Laylee out in the overpriced, top-of-the-line stroller her grandmother got them, because she didn't understand how it folded, unfolded, buckled or even fit the handle to her height. She was all alone, away from her mother and Luke, her Dad, her best friends. They all had children, or as Logan referred to them "little bacteria carriers".

Logan. Her Logan. He holds her at night as she cries and tells him that she can't do this. She can't be a mother to that little, tiny thing, she can't possibly be responsible for it. He understands when she is too scared to hold Laylee and that even feeding her, the thing that is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world, is just an anxiety filled experience. One that will repeat every 3 hours- even at night, until Laylee reaches 7Lbs, or so they are told. He has been so good, understanding her fears and trying to navigate around them. They have only been home for a day, and he has already taken over care for his little princess. He changes her diaper, he bathes her, rocks her when she cries. If he could, he would feed her, and he even does that at 1am when he sees that Rory is just too exhausted to get up. He goes to the fridge and takes out a bottle of pumped breast milk and feeds Laylee.

As if to approve that she is truly Logan's child, Laylee calms in his hands immediately, while with Rory it takes her forever to stop screaming. Logan tells her it is because she is nervous, that Laylee senses her fear to hold the little screaming red child and just nestle her to her chest. He works from home now, and he sits at his desk, the monitor on, and the minute Laylee makes sounds of waking up he will come up to their bedroom, take her out of the bassinet, put her in the wrap-around-baby-carrier, and go back to work with her nestled closely to him.

Rory knows that something is wrong. She knows that she is suppose to be the one person in life that is there for Laylee, no matter what, but she just cannot bring herself to admit that this is her daughter. It's funny, really, because Laylee is everything Rory has ever wanted. Lorelai says that Laylee is a copy of Rory when she was an infant, though, you know, minimized, and when Rory sees her reflection in Laylee's baby blues she thinks for a minute that this was all a bad dream and that everything is as she's always wanted. But no. Laylee is still here and not inside her, Laylee is still itsy bitsy, and Rory blames herself. Her body failed to do exactly what it was programmed to do. What kind of women is she if she can't even provide a safe environment for her baby inside her? And what kind of mother is she if she can't get over herself and care for her child?

It started when she first saw Laylee. After she was born, she didn't hear her cry. They wheeled her out of the delivery room and into the NICU before Rory could even see her, and all Logan could tell her was that she was tiny. She sent Logan to follow them, and make sure that their baby was going to be ok. She knew that everything can happen now, they prepared her for the worse possibilities. Her water had broken suddenly a week before and she was in the hospital, 27 weeks pregnant, and scared out of her mind. A week later and two hours after Laylee was born, she was on a wheel chair in the NICU, in front of an incubator, and Logan was showing her that between the mess of tubes and equipment was their daughter, exactly 2Lbs of sweetness or as Logan called her "My bag of sugar".

She stared at her, and then read the tab attached to the incubator. 'Baby girl Huntzberger, 2/18/09 6:55am, 28+0 weeks, 2Lbs 0Oz' and she remembers looking at that thing, that was supposedly her baby, so tiny it could fit in her hand, thinking that as of today, nothing will be the same.

**A/N:**

This story has been in the works for a while now. There is at least another chapter coming, if not more. Please review- it is my first actually published story and I need some opinions, and well, a beta if you know one. Enjoy :)


	2. Chapter 2

Logan is not stupid, nor is he oblivious. He sees Rory cry, he notices the spark gone from her eyes and he understands that her inability to care for Laylee is not normal. Everyone has their fears, but what's going on with Rory is more than just fear. He hates to see her like this. In the short 12 weeks that Rory has been a mother, she lost all the weight she gained during the pregnancy, and then some. She has dark circles around her eyes, her hair doesn't shine anymore and she looks like she is about to fall over. He had expressed worry one time to one of the nurses and the social worker at the NICU, but they both waved it off and told him to look around. Most NICU moms shave off the weight and develop dark circles, it comes with the territory. "Don't worry" the nurse said "You'll be out of here in a few weeks and it will all be better". He hoped against hope that she was right, but he saw that this is different. Rory was very concerned about her child- but when most parents wanted to spend as much time touching their child and holding it, Rory was simply happy to look at her and let Laylee grasp her finger.

He cursed himself when he remembered the first time he saw that look of defeat in her eyes. Way back when, when his father crushed her, took away her dreams and hopes. He saw it again, when he walked to the window overlooking Laylee's incubator, where his mother and Rory were standing. He saw it, as he overheard his mother tell Rory "It's for the best, some things are just not meant to be". He looked into the window and saw doctors and nurses crowding around his 48 hour old daughter, and he looked at the look of horror on Rory's face. "I think you should leave mom" He said, "You are not welcome here or anywhere around us anymore". His mother left, but the look of defeat in Rory's eyes has been there ever since. Laylee pulled through, his little fighter, but something in Rory died that day.

He should have known, really. When he called his parent's house to tell them about their new grandchild, his father was away on business. "You should really take this as a sign, Logan. You and Rory just are not good together" Shira told him, sounding cool and emotionless. "She's still alive, mother. The doctors think she **IS** going to make it" He told her and hung up. He never knew why his mother came to the hospital, but he knows that he will never forgive her for saying that to Rory.

Logan decided something that fateful day. He was holding crying Rory in his arms, her back to the window, watching doctors talk to the nurses as they give his tiny baby girl more and more drugs, just to keep her alive. He decided that no matter what, he will not let Rory sink. He will be there, for her and for their child. They, in his book, will always be number 1, no matter what is going on.

Laylee lived. Ironically, she had more caffeine pumping in her veins than Rory did. The doctor explained to them that it helps with both her breathing and her heart. "Yes, Gilmore girls do need their caffeine fix to survive" Rory joked, a little bitterly. They had talked about names the entire pregnancy, but none seemed to fit the itsy bitsy fighter they now had. All the boy ones were thrown out, and they were left with a whole list of names that just did not seem right.

"We should name her Lorelai" he said, looking into the surprised eyes of the mother of his child.

"Lorelai, really? Not that I don't love the sentiment and all, but don't you think that's getting a little repetitive?" She asked, wide eyed at his suggestion.

"Come on, Ace, I know you've always wanted to continue the tradition. And didn't you just say that shes pretty much a Gilmore girl already, actually needing caffeine to survive?" and there we go, she even managed a small smile.

"I just think the name is a little big on her. She's so tiny Logan, I just don't know. Lorelai is a rock, something with mythology. She's so fragile.." She looked at him with those sad eyes, almost asking for approval.

"She tiny, Ror, maybe fragile, but she's strong. We can also give her a middle name, maybe something that actually means strong, name her what we believe she will become" he said, hoping that he wasn't just talking, hoping that he is not just giving Rory false hope, and that his little fighter will continue fighting.

"Do we? Do we believe that she will grow out of this Logan? It's not so simple! She can't breathe on her own, her digestive system isn't working well, she is getting antibiotics that are weakening her heart, and no one can tell me what will happen! It's not just growing! She might… she might not." Tears were streaming down her face, she seemed horrified at verbalizing her fear. He took her in his arms and held her to him as she sobbed.

"She will Ace, she will fight. And we'll be here right next to her. You and I both, I'm not going anywhere Ace. We are meant to be, the three of us. Let's just focus on this little one getting better, ok? Let's give her a name, and be parents". He turned her so that she was looking at Laylee, looking at her tiny chest go up and down, and said "Hey there tiny one. We are here, Mommy and Daddy are right here". Tears were still streaming down Rory's face, he hugged her tightly to him, and he whispered in her ears how much he loved her.

The next day Rory was discharged from the hospital and he took her to buy some needed things. Milk, pop tarts, breast pump. He caught her looking at a onsie that said "My mommy loves me", and told her to get it. She said she wants to buy some kid's books to read to her, and he pretended not to notice when into the pile she slipped a baby name book. He let Lorelai take her to a late lunch at Luke's and headed back to the hospital.

"Hey there, Princess, It's Daddy. How are you doing today?" The nurse walked by and told him he can let her hold his finger. He put his hand in the incubator, put his pinky need her hand, and she grabbed hold of it. "Wow there, little girl, that's a strong hold you got" he whispered to the sleeping child. It amazed him how much strength is in that little tiny thing. He looked at her, all diaper and monitor stickers and little hat on her head, and tears welled in his eyes. She was his, his and Rory's, and he loved her. She was 3 days old, and he loved her like he never loved anything else in his life. He loved Rory, but this was different. This was his baby girl, and so help him G-d, he will make sure she will live, will be happy, and will smile. Laylee opened her eyes, and he looked into those dark blue eyes. It amazes him how much of Rory he can already see in that little tiny thing. They had told him that all babies have blue eyes, and that it can change, but this one- this one was purely Gilmore blue. "Be strong, princess, Mommy and I need you to be strong." He sat there, her holding onto his pinky, leaning his face into the incubator side, when he felt Rory's head on his shoulder.

"How's the little Lorelai doing?" She asked, sounding a little more like his Rory.

"Little Lorelai, huh?" He had that smirk on his face, that look that use to annoy her so much, and now she just found adorable.

"I was always a fan of tradition. But I think you are right, she does need a middle name." there might not be a sparkle in her eyes yet, but he can hear the hope in her voice.

"Let me guess, Ace. You already have some ideas" he was looking at her fully now, finger still in the baby's hold, and he couldn't help but feel a little relieved.

"As a matter of fact, I do. I was looking at this baby name book, like you said- for names with a strong meaning, and I found two that I kinda like" She looked at the baby and he thought he saw something in her eyes. Maybe a name will help her grow more attached.

"Really? Want to share those names?" he could tell that she wanted this. She wanted him to have to get it out of her. She wouldn't just tell him, she needed to play the game.

"They are both a little on the unusual side, but then again, whenever have been the usual, boring people?" There was something more to that, but he wasn't willing to go into it right now.

"Ace, come on. Tell me. I'm sure I'll love them. No matter how weird they are" He hoped to instill confidence in her, show her that he trusted her judgment.

"Ok. They both have really similar meaning. One is not exactly English, but I actually like that one more. I know its unusual, but it just has this pretty sound to it, and really, you are right, she should have a strong name. Cuz, really, in the 3 days she has been alive she's been through more than we both have in our lifetimes, and she's a Gilmore and a Huntzberger and"

"Ace! " He stopped her nervous ramble. He thought she was adorable when she did that, yet he couldn't resist stopping her in the middle.

"Right. Ok. The first one is Brianna- it means noble, strong and virtuous. And the other is Adirah, that's Hebrew, and it means majestic strong and mighty. I have to say, I like Lorelai Adirah more than Lorelai Brianna. I think it's less of a mouthful, particularly when you add Huntzberger to it." She said, looking a little sheepish.

"Lorelai Adirah Huntzburger, I love it. Foreign enough to be interesting- but not weird, interesting enough to have a meaning- but not raise an eyebrow. It's perfect Ace." She smiled, something that Logan has not seen her do in days. "What should we call her? Its too confusing to have another Lorelai, and Lorie sounds like a puppy's name to me, don't you think?"

"I want to have the L's in her name. Hmm, maybe drop the R, Lo-lai? Lo-lee? No, that sounds dumb. Lilly? That seems too detached from Lorelai. LeyLai? Leylee? What do you think about that, Logan?" She was looking for his approval, but it looked like she had already made up her mind.

"Leylee, huh? Can we spell it with an a? Like, Laylee? Both L's, no R's. I like it."

"Laylee. Sound like a befitting name for such a tiny girl. Laylee Huntzburger." She looked at the little girl in the incubator and laughed. "I think her name is longer than she is Logan" There were tears in her eyes.

"She'll grow into it Ace, she'll grow into it".

The next morning when Rory walked into the NICU, the tab on Laylee's incubator read "Lorelai Adirah Huntzburger (Laylee)". That it, she thought. She has a name. She's real.

**A/N: **So here's chapter 2. 3 is almost done, and might be up by the end of the week. 390 hits and only 5 reviews? You can do better than that! I want to know what you think! Also, still looking for a beta reader.

Let me know what you think of this chapter, It was definitely challenging to write. Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

They have been home for over 2 weeks now and these conversations she has been having with sleeping Laylee have become a regular thing. It usually happens when Laylee is taking a long nap in the middle of the day and Logan is working, or in the middle of the night when he sleeps. She talks to the sleeping child in the bassinet, and a part of her feels that she is talking to a gravestone- one that she herself built. Rory cannot bring herself to be around Laylee when she is awake, afraid that all her fears will come true, but when Laylee sleeps and all she has to do is look at her tiny chest rise and fall, she finds herself talking to the little girl with so much love and care- almost as if to compensate for everything else.

Laylee is almost 15 weeks old now, and in a week they have their first doctor's appointment in the community. Logan has been taking Laylee to the doctor's office every week to weigh her and make sure she's growing properly, but this is her first appointment with the actual doctor- like a real baby, just not. Their doctor is not the one that Rory has researched before Laylee was born and dug around for references about. No, their doctor is a NICU specialist, that also has a 'regular' pediatric practice, and somehow Logan has managed to get them to the top of the long waiting list and in to see him this week, in time for when they were told she should have her first follow up with their personal doctor. She didn't ask Logan how, but it warmed her heart that he fought for his baby to get the best care around.

It was the middle of the night again, Laylee was and Logan were sleeping, and Rory just couldn't fall back to sleep. She doesn't know what woke her up, but the end result was identical. Rory was awake, and she sat up and put her hand into the bassinet, putting her finger by Laylee's hand. The infant immediately caught it, just like she used to do at the NICU. The NICU, a place that Rory both loved and hated. They saved her little girls life, but Rory felt like she left a part of her back there. She couldn't help but blame her current hardship with Laylee on some of the stops on the crazy rollercoaster they took a ride on while there. She thought about the shock of her water breaking, the sight of the little creature in the incubator, and the day that she was sure she lost her.

Laylee was two days old, when her heart stopped. She remembers before, when she thought Laylee was looking a little flushed. She was too scared to reach in and touch her, even though the nurses seemed to be pushing her to do it. She heard a monitor beep, but that was not unusual in the NICU. As if out of thin air, there were nurses and doctors around her, and one of the nurses was ushering her outside. "Your daughter's heart stopped, it's not unusual in such little preemies, but we are doing our best to bring her back". And Rory was left outside, staring at them from the window. "You should probably tell them to stop, Rory. Isn't it cruel to put her through all this suffering just because you are so desperate to hold on?" Shira has showed up from nowhere, and her voice was calm and cold. Rory was so stunned, she couldn't even think of what to say. "This is just another proof that you and Logan, together, are just not a good combination. You are broken, Rory. Let her go, it's not fair to her, and it's not fair to Logan". Certainly, this playing at her deepest insecurities was not helping, but Rory could swear she saw a smile on the doctor's face, and the monitor was showing little peaks in the pattern. Maybe her baby was fighting. "It's for the best, some things are just not meant to be" She heard Shira, she noticed Logan was there and then Shira was gone, but Rory had already given up.

She didn't tell them to stop. Not the antibiotics, the ventilation, not anything. Neither did Logan. They gave her a name, but Rory had already come to accept that Laylee is gone. She lost all hope for her little girl that day, and she can't quiet recover from that. What do you do when you have already, in your mind, buried your living child? Rory didn't know how to get over that. She didn't know how to bring herself to care for Laylee again. She loved her, but she couldn't think of her as here and alive, growing, developing becoming a normal child. So much was still in the grey zone, and it just didn't make it easier to accept that she is here, alive and kicking.

And yet, Rory was nursing. The doctors, nurses, and everyone told her that it's what's best for Laylee, and she couldn't prevent it from her child. She pumped for Laylee for many weeks until the Laylee was capable to breast feed. That feeling, that Laylee was depended on her, is what saved Rory. It is what saved her from self destructing. It was her only connecting string to this child, that from day to day was more and more Logan's girl, but this was just her and Laylee. She still pumped, and at least once during the night Logan gave Laylee a bottle, but she was nursing Laylee the rest of the day and night, and that meant she had to hold her. She had to hold her, and look at her, and acknowledge that she is here and living. For those moments, Rory tried to avoid thinking of what will be and just focused of the little tiny fingers that held on to her. Laylee would fall asleep, or just stop eating, reality would pop her little bubble, and Rory again will be at a loss of what to do with the miniature baby.

No one ever taught her anything about babies. She did not babysit, and in general was a little afraid of how fragile these little creatures are. Lorelai never pushed her. When Gigi was born, she held her for a few minutes, and that was it. Honor and Lorelai were both joking about Rory and Logan needing some experience with kids now that they are about to have their own, but that never happened. Rory loved her brothers, but just like Luke, she was very happy to glance at will and Jaime from a distance, or play with them on the floor. Honor kept threatening to go away with Josh and leave them to watch Matty for the weekend, even though they rarely saw the boy. It seemed like everyone around them had little ones, but no one bothered to show her how to change a diaper or make them burp.

She felt arms wrap around her, and Logan pulling her back to bed and away from her thoughts. She let him, feeling him wrap around her in that bear hug, and slide a leg between hers. She has come to a painful realization, that they haven't had a normal conversation since Laylee was born. Logan is home more, but they speak less, and when they do talk, it's about Laylee. She doesn't know what happened, but it's as if she is afraid to go to him. He has been this super-dad, taking over everything so that she doesn't have to, and she's…she's not. She doesn't know who is more disappointed in her, herself or Logan, but all she can see in his eyes these days is worry and pity. He holds her when she cries, hugs her when she almost falls apart, but she has kept him completely outside of what she is feeling or thinking. She is afraid to talk to him, afraid that she will disappoint him yet again and that he will leave her- with Laylee or without.

"Ror.." he says, sounding groggy from sleep "why are you not sleeping?"

She didn't know what to tell him, so she just turned and snuggled into his chest. He still smelled like her Lagan, and his strong arms around her made her feel safe.

"You want to talk about it?" He asked, knowing full well what her answer will be. He felt her shake her head against him, and then he felt her warm tears. She was crying again, and his heart went out to her. He didn't know what to do, so he just sighed and hugged her closer. Outside the sun was sending its first rays out to light up the world, but it seemed that right now, their world was having a blackout.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been a month since they have been home and Logan could tell that Rory was just as closed up in herself as she's been these past 4 something months. He set up the stroller, showed her how to wrap the carrier, gave her the monitor- but Rory was just not interested. She felt trapped, and did not see that he's trying to give her a key to her self- made prison. Yesterday Lorelai called to check in on Laylee, and ended up telling Rory how exhausted she is running after a 20 month older, with a baby that wouldn't let her put him down. She went on and on about how nicely Will is picking up new words, how Jaime is standing in the crib already, what a mess they do when they eat, and he saw Rory's eyes glaze over, knowing she has stopped listening a while ago. Thankfully, Laylee had woken up and it gave them an excuse to get off the phone, to Lorelai's ranting of "how many people does it take to get one baby?"

He knew those words hit Rory in the soft stomach. While he was positive that Lorelai did not mean it, she hit the nail on the head. He knew that Rory will take it as another approval to her failure to be the perfect mother she really wanted to be, the mother she perceived Lorelai to be. He thought to how much their lives changed in the past few years. Rory graduated from college, and turned down his proposal, breaking his heart. He went to California, and spent his days in the office, lifting the company off the ground and making it the success it is today. He came home from a successful launch party of one of the sites they created, to find a tired Rory on his door step, with pleading eyes. They talked, they yelled, they kissed and she stayed. She free lanced for an online magazine, and almost burnt down the kitchen trying to make dinner once. He proposed to her the day before Thanksgiving, right before they were going home to spend the holiday with their families. She said yes this time, and when they were in Stares Hollow at her mother's, he couldn't help but looking at her holding tiny Will and thinking that one day it will be their own baby. They moved back to the Connecticut where he can drive in to the city and work and she can be close to her family that January, although he thought it was really nice to be living 10 minute drive from his sister and bran new nephew. Laylee was tinier than Will, Jaime or Matty, and Logan knew that Rory loved her brothers but missed the small, intimate family her and Lorelai used to be, and she strived for some guidance.

He thought back to just 6 weeks ago, their first anniversary. He was always the one for big gestures, full of love, but with Laylee still being in the NICU, there was not much wiggle room. She found flowered and chocolate when she woke up in the morning, and a beautiful card with some yummy decorated cupcakes by Laylee in the hospital. Logan also gave her a beautiful necklace, and they spent the day talking to various doctors about Laylee's upcoming discharge. He took a tired Rory out to dinner, somewhere no more than 15 minute drive to the hospital, where she picked at her food and didn't really look him in the eye. They both had their cell phones on and on the table- in case someone needed to reach them. They went home after dinner, watched their wedding video and he thought he saw tears in Rory's eyes. They never ate the cake that was still in their freezer, but he carried a sleeping Rory upstairs and put her in their bed. As he settled in and wrapped his arms around her, he heard her whisper "I love you Logan. I love you and I'm so scared" He hugged her tightly, and she silently cried herself to sleep. Two weeks later they took Laylee home, and Rory still barely looked him in the eye.

This afternoon he decided to go to the supermarket, alone. It would be the first time since they brought Laylee home that she would be alone with Rory, and he thought that some alone time might do them good. He came back an hour later and found a screaming Laylee in the moving swing and a crying Rory, that couldn't stop the thing to take her out. He didn't understand it. Yes, Rory and technology weren't the best of friends, but she could have just turned the dial. The stress of the crying baby and the tears obstructing her sight were just too much for Rory. The second Logan got Laylee out- she ran upstairs and shut herself in their bedroom.

He didn't know what to do- he didn't know if he should run after her, if he should leave her alone, he just couldn't read her right now. So he stayed down there, rocking Laylee until she stopped screaming. "What should we do now, Layls? What do you say about making your mommy's favorite dinner? That sound yummy to you?" He went to his office, opened his laptop and was goggling pot roast recipes with Laylee resting on his chest.

Rory was frustrated. Between her fear of everything baby and the four walls looking to close in on her, she just couldn't take it anymore. As soon as she knew Laylee was safely in Logan's hands she took a bag, threw some cloths and her toothbrush in it- and ran out of the house, not saying anything to Logan. All he saw was her escaping form and heard the front door crash shut.

He heard the door shut and it made him jump. He didn't know what to do. He adjusted the baby in his arms and ran to the front door, but Rory was already gone. He contemplated following her, but realized he was too late for that. She was gone, and he had no clue where she was going. He tried to call her, but she didn't answer. On the fifth time he got her voicemail, he hung up and texted her, telling her that they needed her. He put Laylee in the swing, and went to get groceries from the car. He will make pot roast for Rory, and tonight, they will talk- and he will find a way to help her, to help them.

Rory was running. She didn't know where, but she just had to get out of there, be somewhere without that screaming creature. She didn't know what to do with herself anymore. She loved Laylee, she really did, but she just couldn't bring herself to deal with the situation she was thrown into. Her baby wasn't perfect. Her body failed her. It was as if she couldn't do anything right. She disappointed herself, Logan, her mom, everyone. Worst of all, she disappointed Laylee. That was the one thing she just couldn't live with. What will become of her baby? Will she talk? Walk? Read? Learn? Will she be a regular child? Will she have problems? No one could tell her, and that scared her out of her mind.

She was surrounded by comparison. She avoided talking to anyone, because she didn't want to know how well everyone else was doing. Both her mother and Honor were talking about all the new things that Will and Matty were doing, steps, words, mischief. Her mother just today told her that Jaime is already standing up! He is only 3.5 months older than Laylee, and she had a hard time believing that Laylee will be doing that in such a short time. So yes, the doctor told them that Laylee always deserves 3 months "credit" and to correct her age, which meant that really, she's only a month old, but Rory could not see her daughter pulling herself up and standing in the crib in 6 months time.

She can't stand looking at her beautiful baby, because she felt that any second someone will drop a huge rock at her head. She can't fall in love with her baby, if she might not make it. She can't be happy at every little milestone, fearing it will be the last one. She can't look into her baby's eyes, fearing that she might fail her.

She was alone. Scared and alone. Logan has already called her phone a million times, but he seems to have quit. She opened a text from him, and smiled. She knew she left Laylee in good hands. She went into a diner, determined to get a decent cup of coffee. She was drained. She hasn't eaten a decent meal in weeks, she was nursing, and she generally felt like something has been sucking the life out of her in these last couple of months. She was sitting in this diner, sipping on her coffee and waiting on her cheeseburger, and she stared out the window at the park. Little kids were running around there, mothers and fathers with strollers, carriers, at the swings and slides. And then she saw them, this family. She looked at how beautifully they seem to manage, and she stared at them for the next 20 minutes.

She was scared, but she knew she had no other choice. She had to find someone to talk to about this. She will not be the one to add more complexes and issues to her daughter's life- she was born with plenty. She was going to find someone, someone that will help her through this, someone that will help her be a true mother to her little girl.

She looked at her phone again. "I love you, please come home. Laylee and I need you" Logan had texted her. She knew she had to go back- for Laylee. She couldn't be like Sherry, just getting up and leaving her daughter behind. She thought of her sister- and how she always craved being around Rory and Lorelai, and how not having a mother affected her. She made a reminder on her phone to call her father and baby sister, and finished her cup of coffee. No, she will go home. She will go home and sit down with Logan, and together they will figure it out.

Logan was so good to her, and Laylee loved him. She had noticed how only the lightest touch from Logan is enough to calm the squirmish child, how Logan walked around the house, worked, cleaned, made dinner, all with Laylee strapped to his chest. She noticed how Logan is home, how Logan was at the hospital, taking care of his family, staying close. Their family. They were a family now. The three of them were a little family, and it made her smile, because no matter what- no one will ever be able to take that away from them. They were now a family.

She walked into the house hours later. It was past dinner time, and she found Logan walking around with a whining Laylee in his hands. He looked at her, and smiled. She smiled back.

"May I?" She asked, pointing to Laylee.

"Uh, sure. Maybe you'll have better luck" He hesitantly handed her the kvetching baby, half in blind hope and half in disbelief.

"Hey there baby, Mommy's here… Shhh, its ok" she sing songed, and held Laylee close to her. Laylee calmed momentarily, and started crying again. Rory sat on the couch, shifting the baby in her arms, and finally attaching her to her breast. She looked at her little girl, sucking away happily, and tears flew down her face. "Why didn't you give her a bottle? She was just hungry. Poor thing… She's so tiny as it is" She turned her deep blue eyes at Logan, looking at him helplessly, and he bent down to her.

"I did Ace, she wouldn't take it, it's right in the other room if you want to see" He wiped her tears, and looked at Laylee. "She loves you Rory, and really, why would she want a bottle when she knows she can get the real thing?" he looked at her, smiling. Rory's look softened, and she sniffled.

"I'm sorry" She returned his smile, melting into his deep chocolate eyes.

"I know" He said, kissing her forehead, and she knew he could tell exactly what she meant.

**A/N: **So sorry this wasn't out before. I have been so busy with school and such, but I promise to try harder to update this more frequently. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and let me know what you think! This was challenging to write, and I sure hope you see that I invested a lot of time into this. I still am looking for a beta reader, and would love to hear more from you. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.


	5. Chapter 5

**I know, it's been forever. Is anybody still reading this? As a slight compensation for the delay, I give you the longest chapter so far. Enjoy.**

**This is brought to you thanks to my most amazing beta- Fluffernutter8**

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><p>"Rory? Logan? Anybody home?" Lorelai yelled as she walked into the house. She was greeted by silence, baby toys and equipment spread around the living room. "They must be out. Alright, boys, let's just wait and surprise your sister, okay?"<p>

"K, Momma," she heard Will mumble from where he was hiding behind her legs, a little intimidated by his new surroundings. He sniffed again and she told herself that it was allergies. Her boys just had allergies. She looked down at Jaime, sleeping in the car seat, and set him down by the couch in the living room. "Come, kiddo. Let's get you some toys to play with until the Huntzs get home".

She walked into the little library, which Rory had told her they were going to convert into the playroom, and looked for the bin of boy toys that they kept. She chose a few cars and trucks and dropped them on to the carpet. Will immediately dropped to his knees and began racing the vehicles around. Lorelai smiled down at him and then began looking around the room. She realized quickly that clearly the library they intended to turn into a playroom was not being used as such. They hadn't gotten around to changing the carpet, and most of their books were still there. The few shelves with kids' books were slightly messier then Rory's usual pristinely organized bookcases, but nothing else seemed to have been moved. The only change to the décor was the Pack 'N' Play, and the activity mat that lay on the carpet, still in its original packaging.

Lorelai opened the double doors that led to the living room wide, and went to check on her sleeping boy. _Good thing that Rory has an amazing collection of books and movies_, she thought as she sat on the couch, frowning. "Things must be looking up if they are out," she whispered to Jaime, trying for optimism.

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><p>"So… Rory. I think I'm going to refer you to Dr. Kelmar, okay? I've known her since college, and she is considered one of the best psychologists in the area. I refer a lot of my NICU moms to her." Dr. Goldstein announced, pulling out a small business card and handing it to Rory. She accepted it, a little stunned at the proclamation, coming as if to finally confirm that something was truly wrong. "Laylee is doing well. I'm very happy with her progress. She is holding her head nicely, and I think that the slow weight gain simply means that she's burning a lot of calories on breathing and growing. You should schedule a hearing test for her, give her lots of tummy time, and continue to bring her in to be weighed, alright? I'll see you in a month. Rory-" he turned to face her. "This is something a lot of mothers deal with, and is almost to be expected after everything that you have been through. Laylee's a champ, she's beautiful, and we just need to have patience. Just…have patience." He patted her on the shoulder before walking out of the little exam room.<p>

"Ace... Hey, hey, Ace, look at me. You heard the man. Lots of mothers overcome this," He said after spotting the deepening frown on her face. "You are getting help. That is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, you saw how he smiled when he looked at Layls." Logan smiled himself, trying to reassure her.

"I know. I know I'm doing the right thing. It's just…I just want to be normal again. I want not to need _counseling _to deal with being a mother. I wanted to hear that she is definitively going to be fine, that we don't need any more tests, and that's it. But I guess that at least she's on the right track." Even as she said it, it was clear that she was trying to convince herself more than Logan. She looked at the dozing child in her arms, and thought about the little newborn they were sitting next to in the waiting room, healthy, alert and looking about twice Laylee's size. She didn't have much time to mull over how different her baby was from all the other kids surrounding them, since they were called into the room seconds after they sat down. Their strict-looking nurse spent the walk down the hall admonishing them for sitting in the waiting room, keeping Laylee next to the sick children. In future, she reminded them, they are never, ever to sit in the waiting room, but should instead go to the secretary to ensure that they are brought into a room immediately. Yet another thing to worry about, another thing that makes them different from other couples.

Logan's voice brought her back. "They told us at the NICU that it's going to take time. That we need to give her the credit, and that they can't predict what will happen. There is a lot we won't know for a while, Ace. For now, she's doing great and keeping on track, so let's live in the moment. Come on, let's go home. I bet that reporter in you wants to research this psychologist, and you should catch up on the sleep you didn't get last night." He picked up the car seat from the floor and placed it on the examination table, holding it steady to let Rory place the sleeping Laylee in it before buckling her in.

"Yes, let's go home. I'm hungry, and soon she will be too," she said, not looking Logan in the eye as she pushed the blanket under Laylee's feet.

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><p>When he pulled up to their house fifteen minutes later, the first thing he spotted was Lorelai's Jeep. "Shit," he managed to spit out, looking at the sleeping girls in his car. This was not good. He quietly killed the engine and walked around, opening Laylee's door and unclicking the car seat from its base. He walked up to the front door and opened it quietly, hoping to find Lorelai there alone. Instead, he found himself trying his hardest not to fall over as Will jumped at his legs.<p>

"'OGAN!" he screamed, effectively rattling the sleeping Laylee. Jaime was playing on the carpet, Lorelai sitting on the couch reading some magazine. Laylee started screaming, protesting the rude awakening, and Logan put the car seat down, trying to calm her.

"Shhh, baby. It's ok, Daddy's here. That was just your uncle making noise. Shhh, you're ok." Realizing that these were futile attempts, he unbuckled her and picked her up, holding her to his chest. Laylee calmed instantly. "That's it princess. Shh. It's just some visitors." He looked at Lorelai with a questioning look.

"We were getting a little bored at home- you know, cabin fever- and thought we would pay you guys a visit. I haven't seen Rory or Laylee since you guys got discharged and, uh, I just wanted to see how you are doing." She looked uncomfortable, switching her gaze from Jaime on the floor to Logan trying to soothe the baby. "Where's Rory, anyway? You only took one car, so I assumed she'd be with you. You don't have her stashed in the trunk, do you?" She looked at him, a small smile on her face.

"She's still in the car. She fell asleep on the ride back, she's exhausted. I was going to get her, but, well, got jumped," he replied, tilting his head in the direction Will had run off in. He held out the baby gently. "Do you mind holding her for a minute so I can get Rory? I don't think she will take too well to being put down again".

"Um, sure." She took Laylee from him, and he walked out the door. "Hey, kid. Nana missed you! How are you?" She looked down at Laylee, as if looking for an answer. She noticed that her eyes were clear Gilmore blue by now, shining and bright. "Little copy of your mommy, aren't you? Just miniature." She turned around to face her own baby who was rolling on the floor happily. "I think you still weigh less than your uncles did at birth, babe. Better catch up on that eating. Here's hoping the famous Gilmore metabolism won't hold you back."

"As long as it comes with the famous Gilmore appetite, which it seems to, I think she'll be fine" Logan informed her, maneuvering through the doorway. "She's gained almost a pound and a half since discharge. We weighed her at the doctor's office this morning. Five pounds, seven ounces. An improvement, but still itsy bitsy," He managed to close the door gently with his foot before heading straight upstairs with Rory in his arms. She stirred for a second, but put her head back on his shoulder almost immediately.

"Logan? Is my mom here?" she said sleepily as he placed her on the bed.

"Yeah. Don't worry about it. I'm going to go down and try to give Laylee a bottle. You get some sleep. You were up most of last night with her." He covered her with the big duvet, watching as she stirred to wakefulness nonetheless.

"What? No. I'll feed her." She was sitting up in bed already, sleep slipping away from her. She put her head in her hands. "God, what is Mom doing here? Is she alone?"

"She brought the boys with her. They're playing downstairs." He tried to sound calm and in control, but it somehow came out sounding desperate anyway. He knew that this wasn't going anywhere good. "Stay here, babe, I'll bring Laylee to you."

"No, no. Why would she come here with them? She knows this could be bad for the baby." There were tears in her eyes, and Logan stopped her from getting off the bed, putting a hand on her knee and wiping her tears. He could feel her trembling now, desperately trying to regain control.

"Ace, she's your mom, and she missed you. You're tired, hungry, sleep-deprived and not really yourself. Take a deep breath before you go down there, okay? I'll make sure the boys don't go near Layls." He kissed her on the forehead and went down the stairs, heading into the kitchen to get Rory some water.

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><p>Lorelai was watching her boys giggle as Will was making sound effects while playing with their toy cars. She saw Logan head into the kitchen, messing around with something there. Laylee was still in her arms and had started to complain every time she stopped moving. She was walking around, gently bouncing the baby, when she heard someone coming down the stairs.<p>

"Hey, Mom," Rory said, standing at the base of the stairs in jeans and a thin T-shirt, her eyes red. "Here, let me take her, she's probably hungry," she said, reaching for her daughter.

Lorelai studied her as she handed her the baby. She looked exhausted, and worn. Her jeans were hanging off her body, her hair was up in a messy bun, and there was almost no color in her face. This girl in front of her did not resemble her brilliant daughter even one bit, but at least she looked and sounded more confident when holding Laylee. She looked at Rory as she sat down in the oversized Lazyboy. It was frightening how her body was almost lost in it.

"Here, Ace. Eat something, and take your vitamins," Logan said, handing her a plate with a sandwich and some pills with a cup on water.

"Thanks." She smiled at him weakly. Something was at least shining in her eyes now, Lorelai noted as she looked at Rory nursing.

"You're still taking prenatals? Something you want to share?" she asked, her best playful smile in place.

"Yeah, my doctor says I should take them as long as I'm nursing. And, well, I'm not planning to stop- particularly not now when she's been resisting the bottle these last couple of days," Rory said. She glanced at Logan swiftly, looking sad and almost ashamed. Lorelai looked between the two, trying to decipher the silent words spoken between them.

"Will, want to come outside and check out the new playset? We can take Jaime to the baby swing, too," Logan offered, hoping to get the boys away from his fragile girls. "Come on, buddy, Jaime and I are heading out!" He picked up Jaime from the floor, and held his other hand out to the toddler. Will looked up at Lorelai for permission, but he was already holding Logan's hand.

"It's okay, baby, go have some fun with Logan," she smiled. It would give her some much needed time with her baby girl. She turned back to Rory as they walked out the door, sitting on the couch and facing her. "Are you sure you're not… I mean, I know you guys are probably careful, but you look, um, pretty drained, and you haven't touched that sandwich." Rory looked up at her, frown on her face.

"I'm sure, Mom. I'm just tired. Laylee was up pretty much all night last night. Mostly nursing, though, which is good." Lorelai didn't look convinced.

"Ror, you know, things happen even if you don't mean them sometimes… And some of them might even be great things…You know I always love a good surprise!" She was truly uncomfortable with the subject, but she wanted to get to the bottom of why Rory looked so unlike herself.

"Trust me, Mom. Logan and I are using the only birth control method proven totally effective," Rory said, looking down again. She looked sad, and a little annoyed, like Lorelai had just hit a sensitive spot.

"Oh, Ror, I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I'm just- just worried about you. You don't talk on the phone with me anymore, I know Lane hasn't heard from you, your dad is worried, and you barely leave the house. Having a baby doesn't mean having to be locked in all day, hon." She touched her shoulder, trying to get Rory to look at her.

"You're right Mom, having a baby doesn't mean stay home all day and avoid life." Rory said, sounding angry for the first time. "But having a preemie, a baby that is so tiny and fragile means exactly that. Not exposing her to too many people, especially not other children, washing your hands all the time, have Purell in every room in the house, hoping that her immune system will develop soon. Constant feedings, waking them up every three hours to eat, and being up at night, watching her sleep if you think she might have the slightest signs of a cold, hoping she won't decide to stop breathing. That's what it's like, mom. She's little. You heard Logan. Less than six pound at a month old, corrected. If she catches that cold Will has, she could get pneumonia and land in the hospital- on the ventilator again. Every appointment, every checkup, the doctors warn us to keep her away, protect her. And my own mother comes into my house- putting _my baby_ at risk…" Rory was crying now, trying her hardest not to get too worked up, so she wouldn't disturb Laylee.

"Rory… I- I don't know what to say. I know it's hard, and it's definitely different, but she seems fine now. She's growing. Both the boys have spring allergies, that's it, I wouldn't bring them here if I thought otherwise. And they miss you, especially Will. He asks where you are you all the time. He wants to know why we never see! You can't completely cut yourself from the world, hon. It's not healthy for you or Logan." She didn't know what else to say, how to calm Rory, or help her. "I know you're scared, babe. But you can't shut yourself in the house for the rest of your life." She tried putting a hand on Rory's shoulder again, but Rory shrugged her off. "Hon, if there's something going on between you and Logan, you can talk to me. Anything, really. I'm here for you."

"What makes you think that there's something wrong between Logan and I? Or that you know anything about my life right now?" Lorelai's words had had the opposite effect, and Rory was thoroughly hurt and pissed off, anger and betrayal shining in her eyes. "You call me to tell me about how great the boys are doing. I tell you how the baby is. You never ask how I am, Mom. You are so wrapped up in your own life. Don't come here preaching me. You know that I love my brothers, so much, but I can't be near the little...bacteria carriers right now! I can't put them or you or Dad or _anyone_ before my daughter. And if you truly wanted to just be here for me and talk to me- You could've come alone, or heck- called and actually TALKED to me. Logan and I are dealing, and we're doing fine. Luckily I seem to have beaten the need to get up and run away when the going gets rough a little earlier in life than you have," she shot out, her look penetrating and acidic.

"Wow, Ror. Congrats. You sure know where to point your arrows. You know where to find me if you need anything, right? Although, maybe you've been watching a little too much Veronica Mars because you don't seem to need anyone. I'm going to take my little bacteria carriers home now." Lorelai stormed out of the room, tears in her eyes, refusing to acknowledge that Rory was crying too.

"Shit. Shit. SHIT." Rory tried to wipe the tears off of her face "Oh, baby. Mommy is saying bad words, huh? I'm so sorry Laylee. I'm so, so sorry." She stroked her thumb over the baby's soft, delicate cheek and bent down to kiss her forehead. Laylee looked unfazed by everything that was going on around her, eating slowly and quietly.

In the kitchen, Lorelai was trying to collect her thoughts. She pushed away from the counter, wiped her tears and went to the back yard, taking the boys from Logan. She messed up bad, she knew. She just didn't know what to say to Rory anymore, and that was a feeling she had always hated. Her baby was all grown up, and she barely knew her anymore.

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><p>Logan walked into the house to find Rory in tears. She was holding Laylee over her shoulder, probably trying to burp her. He picked both the girls up and sat down in the oversized armchair with Rory on his lap. "Hey, what happened?" he asked, hugging both her and Laylee close to him.<p>

"I don't really want to talk about it right now," she said, still sniffing. "I think... I think talking to the psychologist will be a good thing. Do you have your phone on you?" she asked, looking into his eyes, silently pleading with him not to push the issue.

"Yeah, here," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone and his wallet. He handed her the phone and the card that Dr. Goldstein had given them. "Go ahead and call, Ace." He squeezed her arm, smiling encouragingly.

She made the appointment for the next day, and proceeded to take a few bites out of the sandwich he made her earlier. Laylee was laying on her chest, not sleeping yet but well on her way. "I think you should take a nap, Ace. In fact, I think we all should. Come on." He picked her up, and noticed immediately as her hands took a stronger grip to the child on her chest. Something unfurled in his chest at the sight and he felt like he could breathe easier. "Some quality Huntzberger sleep time," he told her, kissing her on the forehead as he carried his girls up the stairs.

Rory handed him the baby once he had deposited her on the bed, asking him to place her in the bassinet and bring it closer to her. "Logan? Thanks," she said, looking into his eyes. Her mother's questions about them from earlier were ringing in her ears. He came closer to her, about to get into the bed, when she kissed him. It was slow and tender, full of feeling. She pulled him towards her and over her, kicking the big duvet aside.

"Ace. Rory," he said, slowly pulling his face away from her. She dropped her hands to the sides, partly disappointed at the rejection, partly happy that he wasn't expecting anything from her. She wasn't sure she was up to anything yet. "I think we all just need some sleep, okay?" he was leaning on his side now, looking at her with those melted chocolate eyes.

"Can you just hold me? Please?" she pleaded with him, her eyes asking for some comfort.

"Anytime, Ace. You never have to ask," he assured her as he pulled her to him and they drifted to a peaceful sleep.

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 and 7 are already in the works. Review so I know I'm not just writing to myself :P more incentive to update that way!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay! update! Longest yet- they just get longer and longer :D**

**Chapter 6 is brought to you thanks to my most amazing beta- Fluffernutter8**

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><p>Logan woke up to the sound of Laylee complaining. It was that slightly discontent stirring sound, the one that usually came before the all-out cries, as if someone was torturing the poor child. Logan pulled his arm back from Rory's grasp, pushing the blanket away from himself and getting up. He walked to Rory's side of the bed, pulling the infant from the bassinet and hugging her to him. "Shhh, baby. Come, let's let Mommy sleep a little- she's got a big day ahead today. You've been proving to be a real Gilmore, and we've barely had any quality daddy-daughter time in the past few days," he murmured to the infant, carrying her out of the room and missing the slight smile on Rory's face.<p>

It was only six in the morning, but he was used to being up at all kinds of weird hours. This morning he had a 7:30 phone conference that he still had to review for, but his daughter preceded his alarm clock. He walked slowly down the stairs, subconsciously tightening his grip on Laylee, who stared up at his face, big eyes wide open. He walked into the kitchen, turning on the electric kettle and boiling some water. While it boiled, he walked to the fridge, gently bouncing the whining child, pulled out a bottle and dropped it on the counter. He poured the water into a big Pyrex bowl, placing the bottle into it carefully so as not to splash boiling water on the baby. He grabbed one of those cloth things Rory insisted they get when they were shopping for baby things before she was born, and threw it over his shoulder. Logan grabbed the bottle, checked the temperature, and walked over to the big armchair. He sat down and looked at Laylee, who was looking right back up at him. He tried to put the bottle in her mouth, but she turned her head, starting to cry. "Ok, kiddo, I know that lately this hasn't been working, but I really hope you'll just eat and let your mom rest. She's really starting to worry me with those big circles under her eyes, and I don't think it's helping you much either- capisce?" He brought the bottle to her mouth again, hoping to calm her down, and heaved a sigh of relief when she slowly started sucking on it. "That's my girl, understanding reason at a young age." He kissed her forehead and watched her eat.

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><p>Rory awoke to the sound of her alarm, telling her it was indeed nine already. She sighed, pushing the button to silence the clock, and looked over at the bassinet, spotting the slumbering baby. She sat up, noticing that the monitor wasn't in its usual place, and smiled to herself. Logan was listening in, ready to take over and give her a few more hours of sanity sleep. She walked to the shower with a smile, remembering his quiet conversation with Laylee before he took her downstairs. In the last week or so, Laylee seemed to pretty much boycott the bottle. She wouldn't eat from it and chose instead to scream her lungs out, essentially forced Rory to be up nursing every three hours, day and night. It was as if the little girl was fighting for her attention, purposely getting clingier to Rory. More often than not, she fell asleep while nursing, and it appeared that she spent most of her time either connected to Rory or sleeping in the bassinet. These last few days she was barely out of Rory's arms, seeming to be attempting to break some kind of eating record. Growth spurt, the doctor called it. Rory exhaustedly dubbed it the eruption of Gilmore appetite. She couldn't deny that Laylee's new phase forced her to grow more attached to the little girl, slightly less scared of holding her and engaging with her. But after the all-out argument with her mother, she felt that now more than ever she needed someone to talk to, to help her deal with her inadequacies as a mother. She took a big breath before shutting off the water and grabbing her towel, walking through their bedroom and into the walk-in closet to grab some clothes. After getting dressed, she grabbed some earrings from the top of her dresser and peeked into the bassinet, surprised to find a very awake and gurgling Laylee.<p>

"Good morning there, baby blues. Wanna come down- maybe hang out with Daddy a bit? I hear he's feeling neglected," she joked as she pulled Laylee out of the bassinet, before heading down the stairs. "Maybe we should get on that tummy time the doctor was so adamant about, what do you say?" she asked the baby. Laylee stared at her with those big eyes, focused on her dangling earring.

She walked into the study to find Logan engrossed in some document. He looked up smiling when she sat on the corner of his desk. "Morning, Ace. Did she wake up? Sorry I didn't hear her. I wanted to let you sleep some more," he said, reaching his arms out to take Laylee.

"It's fine," Rory said, passing the child, smiling at the concern in his voice "Did she take a bottle this morning?" she asked, tilting her head. When he nodded at her, she continued. "She was awake in the bassinet when I got out of the shower, just staring at that weird mobile Finn got for her." She was smiling, causing Logan's mood to lift in seconds. "My appointment is at 10:30. I'm gonna grab a Pop-Tart and head out. Can you make sure that she gets some tummy time today, like Dr. Goldstein said? Maybe open up that activity mat that's lying in the little library?"

"Sure, I'll check it out. What time are you back? Should I wait for you with lunch?" he asked, grin wider than she had seen it since the doctor informed him he was a father.

"Probably around noonish. You can wait if you want, it would be nice to have lunch together." She kissed him and Laylee each on the forehead, and stepped out of the room. He sat back in his chair, and adjusted Laylee so that she was looking straight at him.

"I think this is the beginning of the good times, princess." He kissed her forehead and hugged her to him, only snapping out of his daydream when he heard the front door close.

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><p>"Hi, I'm here to see Dr. Kelmar, I have a 10:30 appointment," Rory told the receptionist in a slightly nervous tone, waiting an agonizing minute before she was acknowledged with a quick glance.<p>

"Name?" said the young girl, twirling one of the purple streaks in her hair around her finger.

"Rory Huntzberger."

"Please have a seat, Mrs. Huntzberger. Dr. Kelmar will be right with you".

Rory looked around the office, gauging her surroundings. The walls were painted a calming cream color, and they were covered with various beautiful nature prints. On the far wall there was a picture of an orange sand dune and clear blue sky.

_It's almost as if you can grasp that serenity_, Rory thought. _Finn would love that picture_,_ the colors so bright and contrasting, yet so peaceful. _She was the only one in the waiting room, and she sat down in a chair, spotting some magazines on a nearby table. As she reached for one, a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties stepped into the room. "Rory?" she asked, looking straight at her. At Rory's nod, she smiled. "I'm Dr. Kelmar, come on in," she said.

The inner office had the same comfortable atmosphere as the waiting room. The walls were painted a light purple, there was more art on the walls, and a loveseat and two armchairs sat facing each other. Rory placed herself in one of the armchairs while Dr. Kelmar sat down in the other. Between them there was a small square table with a tidy stack of files on top, and by the wall there was a bigger desk that was also neatly organized.

"So, Rory, how are you?" the doctor asked, snapping Rory from her thoughts. She looked at the smiling women in front of her, wondering what the best answer would be.

"Alright, I guess," Rory said, smiling awkwardly. _Well, clearly not everything is okay if I'm sitting here_, she thought, and a frown crossed her face.

"Good, good," Dr. Kelmar replied, seemingly unperturbed by her change in expression. "So, tell me a bit about yourself. What do you do, where are you from, what brings you to me?"

"Well, I'm twenty-four, but uh, I'm pretty sure you have that written down somewhere. I'm a journalist, thought right now I'm kind of on maternity leave, I guess. I'm from Connecticut, a little town called Stars Hollow, actually, and we- my husband, Logan and I, and I guess our new baby- we've been going through some rough times and Dr. Goldstein referred me to you," Rory finished off, looking at hands in her lap.

"Okay, I see your daughter was premature, correct?" she asked lightly, probing gently, trying to get Rory to open up.

"Yes, she was. She's just over four months old, but we were told to correct it, so she's really only a month old. She's really little, but my mom says she looks like me when I was a baby and-" her voice cracked and she almost lost the wind from her building rant. "- and she scares me so much. Logan has been so great. He's working from home now to be with us so he does most of the taking care part. I- uh, I don't do much. I mean, I nurse her, and lately she hasn't been taking a bottle so that's like a 'round the clock thing, but Logan does most of everything else." She was nervous, and had started twisting the rings on her fingers.

"Why?"

"Um, I don't know. It just kind of happened. Even in the NICU it was really hard for me to hold her, I was so afraid I would accidently hurt her, and now she's at home and I don't have an entire medical staff to tell me what's going on, so it's even harder. I mean, I love her, I do, but Logan stepped up and things just kind of happened. I don't really know how to be a mother, and it's really scary because she's _so_ little. She's smaller than my brothers and my nephew, and, I mean, this is horrible but it's just easier to let Logan deal with it." She didn't meet Dr. Kelmar's eyes, choosing to look around the room instead.

"Are you afraid of her, Rory, or afraid for her?" the doctor asked, remaining unconcerned by the lack of eye contact.

"I don't know. It's just- she's so fragile, and I'm never sure what will happen, I don't know what she'll do or won't do and what we're facing here. No one is willing to tell us anything certain- so I don't know. It's terrifying to not know," she said, finally looking up, surprised by her own admission.

"Did uh-" Dr. Kelmar flipped through the file in front of her, searching for something. "Did Lorelai have any trouble while in the NICU? Anything out of the ordinary?" The information from the hospital was in the file in front of her, but she needed Rory to tell her.

"We call her Laylee. Lorelai is my mother's name, as well as mine, and it gets confusing," Rory said, smiling slightly, but just for a moment. "And yes, she-she went through two resuscitations. Once at two days old and once at seven weeks," she said, recounting the facts quietly. "She had some sort of bleed in her brain that we were told was common in preemies, but it absorbed and all the tests apparently look normal."

"So, it's been a roller coaster ride." Dr. Kelmar made a note in the file. "Tell me, what have you been doing with yourself since Laylee was born? Logan is doing the housework and seems to be doing his share with the baby."

"Um, like daily?" she asked, waiting for the doctor's nod. "When she was in the NICU, Logan and I had set a routine. I would be there with her most of the day, and he would join me for lunch and stay the afternoon. I did a lot of lunches with people then- my mom, my dad, grandparents, friends, Logan's sister. Everyone wanted to be kept updated, so I kept busy. I would come home and immediately fall asleep, and repeat the next day. That was pretty much it." She couldn't quite understand what the doctor was getting at and not knowing was something she had never been comfortable with.

"And since you've been home, are you still going out? Taking Laylee with you?"

"No." Rory chuckled bitterly. "Home has been like a prison. We are not suppose to see anyone with kids- you know, to protect her from getting sick, and most people I'm close to have kids, even my parents. I've been afraid to take her out, no matter how many times the doctors tell me that the air is good for her. And I don't have a real job right now, so I've been spending most of my time lazing around, nursing, sleeping. Nothing major." As she answered, verbalizing what she had previously disregarded an innocuous description of her day, she began to understand the narrowness of the corner she had been pushing herself into.

"You don't go out on walks? Take her up and down the block in the stroller? Go out to lunch, maybe with your parents?" the doctor asked.

"We have a stroller, but I can't figure out how to work it. My grandparents bought it for us and it's one of those fancy complicated ones, totally useless for a technical idiot such as myself," she answered, elegantly sidestepping the question about her parents. "We have this carrier thing but she looks so tiny in it and every time I put her in, it makes me realize how fragile it all is." Tears glittered in her eyes as she finished.

"How fragile Laylee is? How fragile you are? Logan?"

"Laylee," Rory raised her eyes to the doctor. "I'm-" she stopped, suddenly ready to verbalize what had been tormenting her for so long. "I'm so afraid that she'll just slip away from me. Every time I close my eyes, I can see her tiny face turning blue and I hear that horrible beep of the monitor. I still jump at every little beeping noise!" She was slightly shaken as she finished.

"Are you afraid of losing Laylee?" Dr. Kelmar asked, leaning back in her chair and keeping her eyes on Rory.

"There is a part of me that feels that I have already lost her. I mean, I know she's here, and I can hold her but-"

"You are too scared to get attached because you don't know what will happen?" Dr. Kelmar completed for her.

"I want her to be normal, like all the other kids. I want to protect her, make sure she's healthy and happy. I want to be for her what my mother was for me- but I'm scared. Right now, I can't even think about that," she said, choking on the words as she was finally able to spill what had been going on in her head.

"It's very normal to be scared, Rory. Fear is one of our best, most natural defense mechanisms. And you sound like you want to change, you _want_ to be an involved parent, which is always a great first step," the doctor noted, gesturing with her hand.

"I do. I just… I don't know how to do that." Rory said quietly. "I need a plan or a list and I don't have one and no one seems to have one for me."

"What does Logan say about all this?"

"He's worried. He's been great. He's always helping with everything, he makes sure I rest, and he wants everything to be okay, he wants me to be okay, but he knows something is wrong with me. I mean, he's never refused sex before, and he turned me down last night." She looked up questioningly, pondering the events of last night.

"Maybe he feels that you are not up to it?" she asked, looking at Rory carefully, her voice nonjudgmental.

"I guess, and he's always been very respectful about that. But it's been a while and I wanted… I wanted to just feel alive again. I wanted to feel like me," she whispered.

"How long has it been?"

"Since before Laylee. In the NICU we were under all this stress and we both just collapsed into bed at night, and then it was getting used to having her at home and now it's my weird funk," she frowned. "I don't think we ever went for this long without…anything," she euphemized, her face reddening a bit.

"Do you miss it? Do you miss him?"

"I do. He completes me, he makes me feel alive, and I've been so out of it lately. I want that again. But I guess- I don't know what to do to get it back." Tears were again shining in her eyes. "Do you think I'm depressed? That I have postpartum depression or something?" she asked, and even though her voice was horrified, there was relief there, too. Knowing what was wrong meant having more control and the potential for a straightforward solution.

"Do you think you are depressed?" the doctor rebutted.

"I don't know. I've gotten hints, but I don't know. I want to hope I am, just so there is a way to do something about it, right?" Rory looked at Dr. Kelmar.

"I actually don't think you are depressed," she stated calmly. At Rory's look of amazement, she smiled.

"Then what?" Rory asked, confused.

"I think what you've been going through is a mix of baby blues and PTSD," she stated. "As odd as it may sound to you, Rory, what you have been through is a traumatic experience. Premature delivery, the NICU, everything involved is amazingly traumatizing. And you guys were in the NICU for-" she paused to look through her paperwork again.

"Seventy-six days," Rory supplied immediately.

"Right. Add to that the illusion that most of us have before having a first baby, and the destruction of that image. Babies aren't perfect or easy to handle. You can't hand them back to Mom and Dad when things get messy because you are Mom. They don't come with an owner's manual," she smiled. "No matter how many times you read What To Expect, you can never fully prepare yourself. Almost every parent goes through that," she explained, leaning closer, "and it is magnified because of the details of your experience. The good news is that I believe you are motivated to overcome this, Rory, and I think you are going to be just fine. It sounds like life hasn't always been easy for you, but you've managed to thrive. You have a husband who loves you, a baby that your doctor describes as beautiful and a supportive family."

"I guess," Rory said, smiling slightly.

"So, are you ready to start changing some things around at home?" Dr. Kramer asked.

"Um, sure. Are you giving me homework? That was always my strength," she tried quipping, a small smile appearing, even as she wiped away a few remaining tears.

"I guess you could call it that. This afternoon, go shopping for a stroller." As Rory was about to protest, she held her hand up and continued. "It needs to be one that YOU are comfortable with and are capable of working. It doesn't have to be fancy, just practical for you and comfortable for Laylee. Take her out every day, even if it's just for a ten minute walk. Secondly, go on a date night. It sounds like you and Logan need some time for yourselves to figure out your relationship in this new stage of your family."

"But-" Even as the doctor said it in the safe, quiet office, it sounded like a monumental task. But she thought of Logan at home, waiting patiently with their daughter for her to figure herself out. "Uh, I guess we could look for a babysitter," Rory conceded quietly. "I also think we need to get some toys for her. She's looking around more and I hate to think that all she sees are black and white drawings from those weird cardboard things that we put on the sides of her crib, and that mobile." Already her tone was more enthusiastic as she began planning the shopping spree.

"Good idea. Now, go home, spend some time with Laylee, and come back next week. I look forward to seeing you then," Dr. Kelmar said, as she walked her to the door.

Rory made an appointment for the same time next week and left the clinic, feeling a little revived. She got in the car and drove home, a small smile playing at her lips throughout the drive.

* * *

><p>Logan was lying down on the couch when the phone rang. After Rory had left, he went looking for that activity mat, and after opening it and taking a look, he decided that it needed to be washed before they used it, so he threw it into the washing machine with some of that special detergent they used to wash Laylee's things. After a few minutes of fumbling with the settings- laundry was still not his strong suit- he managed to get it started. In an attempt to follow the doctor's orders, he lay down on the couch and placed Laylee on top on him, on her stomach. He looked at her tiny form, her hair appearing reddish in the shining sun from the window. She struggled to keep her head up, staring down at him as he made faces and noises at her. Eventually, she had given up and fallen asleep. Logan had shut off his phone and let the exhaustion of the last few months overtake him as he placed his fingers over Laylee's back, feeling it rise and fall with every breath she took.<p>

He woke up suddenly when the house phone rang. After a second of disorientation, he reached behind his head to the end table and pulled the phone out of its cradle, answering quickly, but keeping his voice down so as not to wake his sleeping daughter.

"Hello?"

"Logan?" his father's voice boomed.

"Dad?" he stated, surprised. _Why did we even give him the house number?_ He pondered, sitting up slightly more, watching carefully to make sure he was not disturbing Laylee.

"Why is your cell phone off in the middle of the day? Or at all for that matter?" he demanded.

"I was taking a nap with my daughter, Dad- didn't want to be disturbed." He was looking at the top of Laylee's head again, pondering the color appearing of the tips of her hair. His baby pictures showed a distinct reddish tint, but this was a deeper auburn, only appearing on the tips, almost as if someone actually dyed highlights in. He would have to mention it to Rory when she got back. He could already see them sitting at the lunch table, imagining Finn's reaction to his godchild being one of the "chosen breed."

"In the middle of the day?" Mitchum asked, horrified, clearly oblivious to the fact that Logan was barely listening.

"Yes, Dad, in the middle of the day. I don't see how my work habits have anything to do with you, seeing as I don't work for you anymore," he spat, making an effort to keep his voice down. "Is there anything you wanted or did you just want to disparage my work ethic?" He had long ago stopped being surprised at how quickly his father could make his mood take a turn to the worse.

"Don't be ridiculous, Logan, of course I called you for a reason. I want to see my granddaughter. I haven't seen her since you left the hospital. How about I come over on Sunday?" he stated, tempering his usual brusque tone slightly, disturbed by Logan's immediate animosity.

"Um, sure- I guess Sunday is fine," Logan answered, confused. "I'll just have to check with Rory when she gets back, but I don't see a reason why not. Just you, right?" he questioned, remembering his last encounter with his mother.

"Yes, me, myself and I, Logan- really. I just want to see my granddaughter. I'm not gunning for World War III," Mitchum replied dryly. "Alright, unless I hear otherwise, I'll see you Sunday. Have a good day, Logan."

Logan held the phone to his ear for a few more seconds after his father had hung up. He was more than a little surprised at the purpose of the call, although he shouldn't have been. Mitchum has made it a priority to call Logan once a week while Laylee was in the NICU, checking up on her progress, and he even visited a few times. He loved Matty, and saw him at the bimonthly dinners they had with Honor and Josh, and apparently he wanted to get to know Laylee too. _What do you know- pigs might just start flying_, Logan thought as he closed his eyes once again, falling back into peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>So, chapter 7 will be sent to beta tomorrow, and chapters 8 and 9 are already outlined. Review, review, review. I love hearing your feedback, and it inspires me to write. <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**I am Back! Nice Thanksgiving treat, huh?**

**I do plan to be around now, I swear. Since the last update so much has happened , and I am so so sorry for not updating. Chapter 8 is pretty much almost finished, and I expect to have it sent to be beta'ed by the end of the weekend. I have up to chapter 11 plotted out. **

**Thank you to my amazing beta, **_**Fluffernutter8**_**. Without her, her thoughts, comments and constant inspiration, I would have not been able to continue writing this. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Rory quietly opened the door to the house, a curious look on her face. She had tried calling Logan on her drive home, but his cell phone was off. She walked into the living room and a smiled crossed her face at the image of her husband lying on his back on the couch, one hand splayed protectively across Laylee's back as they both slept peacefully. She quietly put her purse down, and went to the fireplace shelf to grab the camera that Logan had started keeping there. Since coming home from the hospital, Logan had decided that they had too few pictures of Laylee, so he had placed a few cameras randomly around the house so they would be handy if an opportunity arose. She snapped a picture of the two of them and then took a moment to just watch her husband and daughter. She replaced the camera, before bending down on her knees, gently kissing Logan all over his face. A smile slowly appeared on his face and as he wrapped his other hand around Rory, bringing her closer to him.<p>

"Hey," he said, opening his eyes.

"Hi. You look pretty comfortable there. I almost didn't want to wake you." She smiled at him.

"No worries, I got my beauty sleep," he smiled at her. "How was the appointment?" He swung his feet to the ground, a hand still on Laylee, supporting her back and head as he sat up.

"Pretty good. I got homework," she told him, excitement on her face.

"Really? What kind of homework?" he asked, intrigued, as he shifted Laylee lightly in his arms. "Not that there's any bad homework for my straight-A Ace."

She smiled, leaning towards him to kiss him again. "Well this is the best kind. I was told to go shopping."

"Seriously? The solution is just to engage in some retail therapy?" He pulled her up to sit next to him on the couch.

"Retail therapy with a purpose, Logan. We are going to buy a stroller," she said, a decisive look on her face.

"Uh, Ace, we already have one, remember, babe?"

"Yes, but my homework is to buy one that is actually usable to me, which that one is definitely not," she said. "And I was thinking that while we're at it, we could get some other stuff we've been wanting."

"What else do we need? We got a ton of baby gifts that are just sitting in a huge pile in the library," he reminded her. "You kind of refused to look at them," he said gently, squeezing her arm.

"I forgot about those," she replied, eyes downcast. "I was thinking we could get her some toys, and maybe we could look at cribs and such for the eventual move into her own room." She gulped, feeling energy slowly draining from her. "We didn't get to do that before she was born," she added quietly. "We were supposed to go that next week…"

Logan could feel her slipping away from him, and he studied her downcast face deeply. "Tell you what, Ace- how about we go find that perfect stroller, and get whatever else you want," he said, attempting to catch her eyes with his own. "Let's put a dent in the Black Card. It's been withering in my wallet because you won't let me spoil you."

"And I'm not letting you spoil me this time. This is for Laylee." She elbowed him.

"Oh, that's going to be the excuse every time now, isn't it?" he laughed, standing up and walking towards the baby equipment, Laylee still dozing in his arms. "I'm gonna put her in the car seat, how about we grab lunch before though?"

Rory got off the couch and reached for her purse, a hopeful glimmer in her eyes. "Sure. You know Gilmore girls never say no to food." Even this short conversation had made her feel strong again. She was always good at doing homework.

* * *

><p>They were sitting at a table outside in a little café, both studying the menu. Laylee was sleeping in the car seat that was places on the floor in an angle they can both see her, and within Logan's reach. It took Rory about thirty seconds to find what she wanted, and she studied Logan's handsome face as his eyes roamed over the menu, a small smile appearing at her lips.<p>

"Are you ready to order?" a waitress in her twenties asked, effectively snapping her out of her reverie.

"Uh, yeah," Rory said, sending a questioning look Logan's way. At his nod, she continued. "I'll have the mozzarella sticks and fettuccini Alfredo." She closed the menu and handed it to the girl.

"Great. Anything to drink?"

"Yea, do you have fresh orange juice?" Rory blushed at Logan's surprised expression. At the girl's nod, she added. "Great, so one of those please."

"And you sir?" the girl turned to Logan. "Do you need a minute or are you ready?"

"I'm good. I'll have a Caesar salad and chicken marsala." He also closed and returned the menu, sneaking a peek at his sleeping baby before adding, "And some water, please."

The waitress nodded, taking one last note in her order pad. "Great, I'll be back in a few with your drinks," she said, and disappeared into the restaurant.

Logan turned to Rory, a quizzical look on his face. "Orange juice? Voluntarily? Who are you and what have you done with my Rory?"

"Uh…" Rory mumbled, a little thrown off by the use of her name. "When someone made me drink a cup every morning of my pregnancy, I guess it turned into a habit." She was looking down at the table cloth intently, as if almost ashamed. "And I kind of learned to like it," she almost whispered.

"Wow. So for months you were giving me that face every morning and really you had no issue with it anymore?" Logan asked, his smile widening by the second.

"I just had fun messing with you," Rory said, a little more confident. "And I really did want more coffee. Besides, I would have told you eventually, but then- um… You know. I wasn't pregnant anymore," she said, eyes finding the car seat, avoiding his look.

"Right," Logan replied, noticing the need to get her off this topic. "Wow. Ok, new age for the Gilmore girls!" he exclaimed, knowing immediately that he made a mistake by the sudden surprised look on her face. "Hey, want to guess who called me today?" he tried, changing tactics.

"Hm, let's see. Colin?" At the shake of his head, she continued guessing. "Finn? Honor? Steph? Robert? William? Harry?" at seeing his head shake at every single one of her guesses, she sighed. "I give up. Who called you today?"

"Mitchum," he answered, letting the information set in before continuing. "Apparently, he would like to see his granddaughter on Sunday. He was quite surprised that I was home, actually."

"Um, wow. Okay. I guess, I guess we can work something out." Her face was the perfect image of astonishment, a little like when they discovered she was pregnant.

"He wants to come on Sunday, if that's okay with you?"

"Sure, I don't have any plans. But, um, just-"

"Just him," Logan stopped her. "Just him wanting to see Laylee," he reassured her, taking her hand into his own. She smiled, and he changed the subject. "So, my office is planning a launch party for that website I've told you about, remember?"

"Yeah, vaguely. Something about the news, partnering with social media, right?" she asked slowly, as the information came back to her.

"Yup. That's the one. So we're having this launch party next Saturday, and I was thinking it might be nice if we both attended," he was squeezing her hand in his, searching her eyes.

"I don't know if that's the best environment for Laylee," she said, looking into his eyes. "There will be so many people there, and in a closed room." She stopped talking before she could name all the things she was afraid of now, the whole list of things they had been told to avoid.

"I was thinking we could leave her at home, Ace, and go just the two of us," Logan said, lacing their fingers together. "You know, like we used to."

"Like a date?" A surprised look came over her face.

"Yeah, like a date. I even got some recommendations for babysitters, and made sure that they all have their CPR license. Ran background checks on them-"

"Wow, you really did your research." She stopped him. Feeling a little unnerved about the thought of leaving Laylee with a stranger. "I guess…I guess we could do that. How about we do phone interviews, and uh, pick one."

"That sounds great." He smiled his wide smile, and the waitress appeared with their drinks. Once she was gone, he looked over at his wife and added, "How was your appointment?"

"Good. I think it went really well. She doesn't think I have postpartum depression." Rory answered, able to voice her biggest fear aloud, now that it was refuted. "She said she thinks I have some baby blues and PTSD, from the NICU."

"Baby blues?" Logan asked, looking confused.

"Apparently that's what it's called when the vision of the perfect baby breaks and you are left to deal with the real thing. And the whole premature delivery and NICU part can leave some nice damage too."

"Hey, hey, we'll figure it out. It's going to be fine," he said, squeezing her hand again. "You are getting there, and I'm not going anywhere-" He was cut off by the arrival of their food.

"Yeah, I know," she said, turning to her plate and effectively changing the subject. "Yum. These are great, want one?" She offered him a mozzarella stick.

"Sure. Want some salad?" he joked, and laughed out loud at her sour expression. It felt good to laugh. Things were slowly going back to normal, or at least their normal.

* * *

><p>After Rory devoured every last bite of her lunch, they headed towards the closest Babies 'R' Us. They stood outside the doors for a minute, about to step into a baby store for the first time. They had an online registry for Laylee, and Rory had shopped online for baby presents for others before, but this was the first time they had ever physically walked into the actual store. Logan took a deep breath, tightened his hold on the handle of the car seat, and held out his hand to Rory. She took it, breathing deeply, and they went in.<p>

Logan grabbed a cart and placed the car seat on top of it, noticing that Laylee was starting to stir. He checked his watch, and caught up with Rory that was looking at some toys at the front of the store.

"Hey babe? I think she's gonna want to eat very soon," he said, coming up behind her and touching her shoulder softly.

"Oh, ok. Um, is there anywhere I could go and feed her? I mean-" she stammered, nervousness taking over her.

"I'm sure there is a nursing room here somewhere," Logan assured her. This was their first outing with the baby, a new situation for both of them, but especially for Rory. "Hang on a sec," he said, walking quickly towards a tall associate who was putting stickers on Fischer Price products. "Excuse me, do you have a nursing room somewhere in the store?"

"Uh, yeah. All the way to the left in the back," the associate said, barely looking away from the price gun.

Logan walked back towards Rory. She was standing with one finger in Laylee's grasp, while reading the back of a toy she held in the other hand.. "There is a room in the back. Want to head there?" he asked, taking the toy from her and placing it in the cart. "I'm pretty sure it's been a little over three hours since she ate, actually." He looked at her apologetically.

"Ok, let's head there. Maybe while I nurse her you could start looking at some stuff?" She sent him a hopeful glace as he guided her through the store.

"Of course," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple.

* * *

><p>Logan felt lost. He was standing in a sea of car seats, strollers, cribs. You name it, they had it, and he didn't know what to look for first. He held two mobile boxes, one in each hand, trying to compare and make a decision. He was so engrossed that he barely saw the young associate that came up behind him.<p>

"Can I help you with anything?" she asked, smiling a little as he jumped in the air, startled.

"Uh, yes, actually! I am looking for a crib, stroller, and…some other stuff," he replied, thankful to have someone to ask questions.

"Sure, come this way," she started, leading him towards the massive amount of baby products. "I would say one of these is a pretty sure shot." She pointed towards something that appeared to be just four wheels and a basket. "It's a Snap 'N' Go, so you put the car seat on it and you have stroller. And it's super portable." She demonstrated, folding and unfolding it. "It makes life easier when they fall asleep in the car and you don't want to wake them."

"That's brilliant." He tried it out quickly himself. "I'll get one of those. Anything else that you can recommend?" he continued, his usual smile taking its place on his face.

"Plenty. Here, grab this." She helped him get the box under the cart. "Real strollers can wait. Let's go look at some cribs." She guided him around, past highchairs, and towards the sample nursery rooms. "Here are some cribs and bassinets, which you will find to be, like, the most useful thing ever," she said, pointing towards what he thought was the ugliest (and possibly the most expensive) nursery room in the whole store. "This package is absolutely the best. You can add a princess theme for a girl and like, cars or something for a boy, and you are set." She touched his elbow, pointing him towards where the sheets were stacked.

"Um, Logan?" He turned around at the sound of Rory's voice, finding her standing there, one hand holding the car seat, the other holding Laylee tightly against her. "Could you get this? It's getting a little heavy." She said the words to him, but looked past him, sending a glare the associate's way. He quickly grabbed the seat from her, placing it on the cart and then moving to take the baby from her. "I think I'll keep her right now, maybe see how she likes some of the strollers." Rory started, before she noticed the box on the bottom of the cart. "Or did you already find something?" she asked, tentatively.

"It's just a snap and go," the associate butted in. "You know, like with wheels for the car seat?" She spoke as if it was obvious.

"Oh, cool," Rory said, looking back at Logan, "Maybe we could check out strollers before cribs?" She sent him a pleading look, not willing to let anything steer her away from what she actually came there to get today, or let this sales girl get to her.

"Sure, Ace. Um-" He turned to the associate, looking at her nametag, "Laquisha, can you show us some strollers?" He flashed his smile.

"That way," she pointed, giving Rory and Laylee a once over. "She sure is tiny. We have this great stroller, the Bugaboo, wheels great. Really pretty. There is also the Stokke- that's for tall people and the Orbit is really cool too." She smiled a big sales pitch grin as she presented, pointing out the stroller after identifying the couple as having deep pockets. She stopped in front of the stroller, pushing it towards Logan. "You should probably get one of those bassinet attachments, since she looks like she'll fit in that for a looooooong time." She lifted her eyebrows, indicating the purple bundle that was Laylee.

"Actually, we already have that one," Rory said, face a little fallen. "We were looking for something that is a little easier to manage"

"Easier?" Laquisha asked, not really understanding what Rory was going for.

"Something that is easy and quick to fold and get in and out of the car," Rory elaborated. There was a bite in her words as she grew agitated with the girl.

"I don't know. This isn't actually my section." She moved to leave the area. "I'll call Bob for ya," she threw over her shoulder as she walked away. Logan sent a look Rory's way, trying to figure out the emotion on her face. She looked tense, holding Laylee on her shoulder, her little head supported by her other hand. He was about to say something, put his arm around her, when they were approached by a young man who appeared to be in his late twenties. "Hey, I'm Bob, the supervisor. I understand you guys are looking for a stroller?"

"Yes," Rory replied, shifting Laylee in her arms. "We are actually looking for a second stroller," she added, looking at the man expectantly.

"Ok, what kind of stroller do you have? What are you looking for?" he asked, trying to gauge where he should take them to.

"We have one of those bugogo's? I don't remember what' it's called, but it's that one there," She pointed to a red stroller with a circle logo on it. "I hate it. I find it impossible to put together and I just want something that I can put her in and go, that I can fold and unfold without having great technical abilities." She held Laylee carefully as she vented, happy to find someone that is actually looking to help them instead of flirt with her husband.

"Ok, I think I have a few options for you. Wait right here," he said, walking away.

Bob returned with a few strollers, and then a few more. They tried Laylee in two of the options, until Rory found the one she wanted. It fit all her criteria: light and easy, folded with one pull and was easy to push. Logan bought all the accessories he could find for it, and they got a few more toys they saw along the way before heading home. Rory said she didn't really have the patience to look at furniture during that trip when she hadn't had the time to look at her research, and she wasn't about to make such an important purchase without doing the appropriate research. Logan smirked, and they headed home, both girls falling asleep during the ride.

* * *

><p>Even though they had a nice and comfortable afternoon at home, Logan couldn't help but feel that Rory was avoiding him. She and Laylee slept when they came in, so he carried Rory to bed and let her continue sleeping, placing the car seat with the sleeping baby next to him as he did some work. When Laylee awoke, he took her to Rory and was slightly surprised to find her reading in bed. He left the room and went back to the office, where he listened to Rory talk to the baby through the monitor. He was touched to hear her tell Laylee about her appointment, and then just cuddle with the baby in bed. Taking a quick glance at the clock, he realized that it's almost time for Laylee's bedtime routine, and he went upstairs, feeling encouraged, taking the stairs two at a time.<p>

"Hey Ace." He stood at the doorway, smiling when he saw Rory stretched out on her abdomen, across from Laylee in the exact same position, but fighting to hold her head up. "You guys having fun?"

"Oh, yeah, tons," Rory let out, tone suggesting sarcasm. "Every three seconds she starts complaining, so it's a minute of tummy time and two minutes mommy time." Her voice registered complaint, but the small smile on her face as she looked at the struggling child told him she actually enjoys this game of theirs.

"Well, how about we finish the exercise portion of the day and we could give her a bath? What do you say Ace?" He moved towards the bed, sitting next to her and fighting the urge to place his hand where her shirt has ridden up.

"You can give her a bath. I'm, uh, I'll just get you some pajamas," she said, sitting up in bed and intending to head to the laundry basket that was full of Laylee's clean cloths. He seized the opportunity a second before she hopped off the other side of the bed, and grabbed her shoulder, effectively halting her escape.

"Is everything ok?" he asked, a look of concern gracing his handsome face.

"Everything's fine," Rory answered too quickly for Logan's taste, all the while avoiding his eyes.

"Rory…" He tried, racking his brain to figure out what he did wrong.

"Everything's fine Logan, see?" She flashed him a smile, wiggling her way out of his grasp and crossing the room to where the basket was on the floor. "How long do you think it will take you?" She asked.

"How about you do it with me?" He looking deeply at her, watching as surprise moved across her features.

"Um, I don't… I mean- she's so little." Rory was scared. He knew she was scared, and he was determined to push her out of her comfort zone time and time again today.

"I'll be right there Ace, come on." He shot her a smile. "She really likes the bath, and it's really not that hard," he assured her. "Please Ror?" There was pleading in his voice, for something more than just this simple parental duty.

"Ok. But you have to show me everything, every single step… like they- like they showed us in the hospital," she whispered, and he scooped Laylee off the bed, put an arms around Rory's shoulder, and led both his girls to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>"This isn't too, too bad, is it Ace?" he asked, smiling at her. She was sitting on a stool, leaning on the side of the big bathtub, so she could see the small blue baby bathtub where Laylee lay. Rory had both her hands in the water, constantly rewetting the wash cloth that was draped over Laylee's belly, tickling the little girl in the process. Logan was leaning against the wall, smiling at the amazing shift of mood in his wife. A thought crossed his mind, and he looked at her carefully for a minute, assessing the situation. "Hey Ace, I'm going to grab something. You going to be ok here for a minute?" he asked, hoping she won't suddenly lose confidence.<p>

"Sure, I think I'm ok." She shot him a short smile, immediately turning her attention back to her daughter. "Daddy can leave, right, baby? Mommy is going to stay with you right here. Right here." She cooed at the baby, sending her big, bright smiles.

When Logan walked into the room a minute later, a camera in his hand, he stood by the wall again, snapping some shots of his girls. "Daddy back, you see? He wants to have some blackmail shots for the future," Rory jested, still smiling at the baby.

"Blackmail? Pshh. I'm thinking more towards embarrassing baby pictures to chase away any possible dates," he joked, all the while glowing inside at the sight of her interacting with their daughter.

"No worries baby girl, Mommy won't let him do that. No she won't let Daddy do that to you," she smiled, cooing at the infant. Logan stepped closer, camera in hand, so he was in Laylee's eyesight.

"We'll see about that, ok, Layles?" As soon as she heard his voice, a big smile appeared on Laylee's face, as she was staring into to Rory's eyes. Logan was quick enough to catch the beaming child on film, and proceeded to squeeze the button a couple more times, hoping she would smile again.

"Did you see that?" Rory squealed "Laylee! You smiled! Can you do it again for Mommy?" She asked the infant, excitement written all over her features.

"One more for Mommy, babe, ok?" he appealed to Laylee teasingly, dipping his hand in the water to tickle her chin. She smiled again, and at that moment, there was nothing that could make Rory happier.

"She's smiling, Logan! She's smiling! At a month old! Well, corrected, but still- that's totally on time!" Rory babbled, excited.

"Yes she did, Ace. Here, take this," he said, handing her the camera. "I'll take her out, before she turns into a fish." He threw her towel over his shoulder, and lifted the little girl high in the air yelling, "Drip dry the baby!" which caused her to smile again. Rory snapped some more pictures while Logan expertly wrapped Laylee in her ducky towel and put her on the changing table, rubbing her dry.

* * *

><p>Rory watched as Logan gently took the sleeping baby from her, and placed her in the bassinet. He stood over it, just staring at Laylee, and Rory walked up to him, putting her hands around him and hugging him from the back. He turned in her arms, looking at her with a slight smile, and a shine in his eyes. She leaned up and kissed him, cupping his face in her hands, and he pulled her closer to him, as if breathing her in. She angled towards the bed, pulling him with her, until she felt her legs touch the edge. She pulled him over her, pushing his shirt up as she sneaked one hand under it.<p>

Logan sucked in a deep breath, not wanting to stop, but understanding that he had too. "Rory…" His voice sounded so strained as he pulled away from her, standing up and running a hand through his hair. He saw the tears springing into her eyes, he saw her sitting up and pulling her legs to her chest, and then standing up and starting to head into their bathroom. "Ace, no. Come here." He tried to stop her, placing a hand on her wrist.

Rory's mind was racing. She didn't know how to react to this. He was pushing her away, again. Why would he be pushing her away? Didn't he want to be with her? Was she not the women he used to never get enough of? She knew that she had changed lately, knew that things were weird between them, but she never thought she would lose him. And there she was, being pushed away again. Did he not love her?_ No. Logan loves me. Why would he still stick around if he didn't? _She didn't want to, but she doubted herself now. _He hasn't looked at me the same way in a long time, _she thought. _There use to be a craving look in his eyes, a look of need._ _All he sees now is how pathetic I am. _

"Why? You're obviously not attracted to me anymore," she spat out, tears running down her gorgeous face as she tries to pull out of his grasp.

"What?" he yelled out, immediately turning his head towards the bassinet, hoping his outburst hasn't woken up the baby. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you. I saw that stupid girl at the store hitting on you... and you- you gave me that look that was-was full of-full of pity," she sobbed, barely able to get the words out. "Why would you want me when you can pretty much have any other-other, some who is-isn't a complete wreck?" She managed to pull her hand from his grasp, hugging herself as if to shield from him.

"Ace… Rory, hon, I have no idea what you're talking about," he tried to defend, moving a step closer to her.

"It's fine. You can tell me, I see it in your eyes. I know you don't-you don't want me anymore. You-you never lo-look at me the same anymore." She continued to swipe at her tears with the back of her hand. "You look at me like I'm fragile, and can break any second. Or worse, as if I'm broken already. So I get it- no need to pretend anymore." She turned to make her run in to the bathroom.

"Rory!" he said in a stern voice, attempting to make her meet his eyes. He placed his hand of her wrist, tugging her slightly to him. "I have absolutely no idea what this is about, Ace. But I can promise you one thing." He had her flush against him, using his other hand to tilt her chin up so her blue irises, the ones he loved so much, would meet his dark ones. "I am _very, very _attracted to you. I'm not pretending anything, Ace." He took his hand off her wrist, and placed it around her back, pulling her even closer to him, trying to show her. "See?"

"Oh," she managed, still sniffing, a look of confusion crossing her face. She was about to say something, when Logan wiped away her tears with both hands, and proceeded to cup her face and give her a long, tender kiss. She was confused now, trying to regain control of the thoughts swirling around in her head. "So why… why did you pull away?" she asked him, still not fully convinced. His eyes were boring holes in her, and she couldn't bring herself to look up into his eyes. She couldn't bring herself to see that soft gaze of his, as if she will fall apart any second now.

"I don't want… I don't want you to do anything that you are not ready for. Not just for me." He breathed out, running his hand through his messy blond hair again. "Not when I'm willing to wait forever for you. The last thing I want is to hurt you," he said, and her heart melted at his breaking voice. She dared to look in his face now, and saw his eyes glistering. Some lust, some frustration, and a whole lot of love. Not pity, not nobility, just tender love. _All for me._

"Then don't. Kiss me Logan, make me feel like me again. Look at me like you used to." She walked up to him, looking deeply into his eyes, pulling him to her. "Make me feel alive again."

* * *

><p>Rory snuggled into Logan, feeling better and safer than she has in month. Her head lay on his chest, so she could listen to his steady heartbeat, as she dozed off, a small smile on her lips.<p>

Even as he just laid there, his finger playing with a lock of her hair, feeling her pressed up next to him, Logan's face could light up a tower. Suddenly he remembered something, and sucked in a deep breath.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked sleepily, placing her chin on his chest and looking in to his wide eyes.

"We forgot- we forgot protection," he said, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "In over a decade I have never forgotten. Never! How did this happen?!" He felt her shake with a silent laugh, and stared into her giggling face. "Why are you not freaking out? This is not good!"

"Oh, babe, don't worry." She placed a calming hand on his chest, putting her head down again. "I've been on the Pill since my six week post appointment." She traced circles on his chest, attempting to close her eyes again.

"Really?" he asked, torn between disbelief and relief.

"Umm-hmm," she mumbled, clearly wanting to get some sleep.

"Oh." They laid quietly, Logan trying to shut off his brain and get some sleep. He thought back to earlier in the day, lying on the couch with Laylee. "Oh, Ace," he whispered, hoping to find her still responsive.

"Ummm?"

"Did you happen to maybe dye Laylee's tips and not tell me?" He attempted to make a slight jest out of it, failing miserably as Rory gave him a look that clearly said _are you out of your freaking mind?_

"What?" She was shocked, that much he could tell from her tone.

"The tips of her hair, they looked reddish to me before," he answered sheepishly.

"And you thought I dyed my newborn's hair?" she asked him, growing more amused with this idea by the second. At the embarrassed look on his face, she added more gently, "I didn't. But I'll look at it in the morning. What do you know, we might have a redhead on our hands," she said, as she laid her head back on his chest for the final time that night, pecking a kiss on him in the process.

"God help us if she's one of Finn's _'chosen ones,'_" Logan growled, kissing the top of her head. "Night Ace. I love you".

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><p><strong>Please, please, please REVIEW! It really helps my creative juices flow. When I wrote this chapter, I re-read the reviews every time I opened the document. <strong>

**REVIEW and have a very very happy Thanksgiving! **


	8. Chapter 8

**This is super super super late. And I apologize! I am really trying to pick up the pace and get this story going. You can even ask **_**Fluffernutter8,**_** my amazing beta- I have sent her chapter 9 and most of 10. Anyways, enjoy chapter 8! And Finn!**

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><p>Rory was a little disoriented when her cell phone rang on Saturday morning, effectively waking her from her morning nap. She clicked the answer button before the phone reached her ear, just to stop the offending noise.<p>

"Love? Are you there?"

"Finn?" she asked, groggy and a little dumbfounded. She hadn't heard from Finn since the day they brought Laylee from the hospital, when he had insisted on escorting his goddaughter home for the first time. "Where are you?"

"At your door, love. My hands are a little full and it's getting heavy. Mind opening up?" Registering his labored breath, she threw the covers off herself.

"Sure, one sec." Rory shot one look at the bassinet, slightly surprised to find it empty. Still, she shrugged it off and headed out the bedroom door and down the stairs. One of her hands was holding the phone, while the other pulled up her falling pants. Her hair was flying everywhere, and she checked the dress shirt of Logan's she was currently wearing, making sure the buttons were closed. She was almost at the last step, about to reach out and open the heavy wood door, when she lifted her head. Her mouth dropped as she saw Finn standing at the wide open door with a camera, snapping pictures of her rapid descent down the big staircase.

She immediately jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. A minute later, she took a step back and slapped his shoulder. "You jackass, what was that all about?"

"Is that how a mother speaks?" he jested, hugging her to him again. "I needed a shot of a beautiful woman in a rush for the exhibit I'm putting together, love." He smiled, releasing her and looking her up and down. He was surprised at what he saw. Rory has always been slim, but now she was pretty much skin and bones. Her hips had gotten pointier, her cheekbones were emphasized, her collar bone stuck out. He noticed that her chest was definitely bigger, but she looked fragile. Deciding to talk to her or Logan later, he stepped into the foyer, and looked into the living room on his right. "Now, I demand to see my godchild. Where is the lovely Miss Laylee?"

"Probably in the office with Logan," Rory answered, distracted. She noticed for the first time the huge suitcases in the doorway that had been hidden behind Finn. Her tone turned suspicious. "Ah, Finny, mind telling me why it seems like you brought all your worldly possessions on this little visit?"

"All in due time, love," Finn shouted to her, already almost through the office door. Rory quickly followed him, curious as to what was going on. "Logan, mate!" Finn called out, receiving no response from the blond. Logan was so focused on the document in his hand that he didn't turn around to the door.

"He's wearing headphones," Rory surmised, about to move towards him and alert him to their presence. However, she was beaten to it by Finn, who simply reached out and pulled on the white cord.

"Hey!" Logan called out, his frown turning into a big smile when he noticed his friend. "Finn!" He spun his chair fully around, and got up to hug his best friend. "What are you doing here?" Logan knew that Finn's presence was bound to do Rory some good, as the two had become very close.

"That's exactly what I've been wondering," Rory mumbled as Logan pulled her to him, kissing her cheek. She smiled at him, settling in against his side. "Morning," she said to her husband, before turning an expectant gaze toward Finn.

"All in due time, mate. " He frowned slightly, their impatience not impressing him. "Now, where is my godchild?!" Finn looked around, not seeing the baby anywhere in the office. The space was large, but crowded. It held corner desks at both ends, with French doors that opened to the back yard, and another set that opened into the living room. On the remaining wall space, there were floor to ceiling bookcases, packed with textbooks and binders.

"She's in the pack and play in the little library, sleeping," Logan told him, passing him to move into the living room and then into the room that they had designated as a play room, although they had yet to take steps to make it so in anything by name. He quietly opened the double doors that led into that room, and moved to the far wall, only to find Laylee awake and sucking eagerly on the tag of the blanket. He picked her up, bringing her to his level, and placed a kiss on her little head.

"Give her here," Finn demanded, holding his hands out to take her. "Come to Uncle Finny, he missed you," he cooed at Laylee, taking her from Logan with confident hands. Finn's hands covered Laylee's entire torso, and some of her legs. It took Logan a second to recover, his baby looking so tiny in Finn's big hands.

"Watch her head," he reminded Finn, moving his hand to support the delicate creature. "Maybe you should sit down." Logan led Finn out of the library and into the living room .

Finn sent him a look that clearly meant _I know what I'm doing_. "I've held a baby before," Logan watched Finn readjust the baby in his arms so she was cradled, and smiled. Finn was the only one of the three musketeers who had nieces and nephews growing up, being the youngest of four. In the two years they spent at a boarding school in Switzerland, Finn spent a lot of time at with his older sister, Michelle, who was living there and running the family's firms in Switzerland. "Mate, why don't you get my bags, while I play with this beautiful redhead?" Finn suggested, grinning wildly.

"Sure, Finn." He turned to Rory, who had been watching them quietly from the doorway, and said, "Watch them. I think she might be hungry soon anyway." About thirty seconds later, they heard him shout. "Holy shit, Finn, how long are you planning on staying?!"

A few minutes later, Finn and Logan sat down in the living room after lugging the suitcases up the stairs. Rory was already comfortably seated in the big armchair, nursing. Logan placed a big cup of orange juice in front of her, while he and Finn sat there sipping on water.

"So, what's going on?" Rory asked, looking Finn straight in the eye.

"Um, I, uh-um, I was wondering if I could stay a while," Finn mumbled, holding his glass in both hands, looking down at it. "I kinda left school." He blushed, something they were not used to seeing in Finn.

"Kinda left school? How exactly do you kinda leave law school?" Logan asked, looking expectantly at his friend. "Is your father going to come knock down my door again and drag you back?" he added, remembering what happened when Finn decided to drop out of high school. That incident had gotten him sent back to Australia to spend his last eight months of senior year back home.

"No, he knows. He's apparently accepted it now," Finn told them, looking up. "I went to him and told him that I hated law, reminded him that they only reason I graduated Yale was because I double majored and my arts GPA saved me." He stopped, taking a sip of water before continuing. "I said that I have three sisters who are lawyers, and any one of them is more capable of taking over than me. And that I will be miserable doing it. And he said ok."

"Finn, that's amazing!" Rory told him, smiling brightly at him. "I know how much you hated the idea of becoming a lawyer."

"Yeah man, kudos for standing up for yourself," Logan said, his tone sincere, although still a little shocked.

"I was inspired by the way you quit HPG, mate." Finn looked at Logan. "You followed your talents and passion, and I intend to do the same."

"You're going into journalism and social media?" Logan joked, putting his glass down, his smirk on his face.

"No, idiot. I'm going to follow _MY_ talent, and be a photographer," Finn said mockingly, his smirk just as big as Logan's.

Logan was about to make another smart comment when Rory's voice stopped him. "Enough, you two. Logan, lay off of him. Finn- what did your dad say?" She was looking at him now, relieved that stepping into the role of buffer still came naturally to her.

"He wasn't happy, but he understood. I think he was appreciative that I gave law school a shot, and he didn't disown me. He's investing in my studio, so I assume he's supportive. Though I know he hopes that eventually I'll change my mind." Finn was still hearing pieces of his conversation with his father in his head. "I was hoping that I could stay with you guys until I find a place and get all set up," he added, looking at Rory in particular.

"Of course," she answered immediately, happy at the prospect of having such a lively presence in their home. "Logan will have to set up one of the guest rooms, but it's not as if we're lacking in room," she said, looking expectably at her husband.

"Later, Ace. I got a conference call in a little bit. Why don't you two take Laylee on a walk somewhere, get some fresh air," he suggested, thinking that getting out would do Rory some good. "We can have a movie night tonight if you want, we have all the supplies."

Rory nodded, her face excited. Logan went back into the office, leaving the two of them to talk. "I think Laylee and I need a nap before we go anywhere," Rory told him, getting up and holding the sleeping child. "Walk later?"

"Sure, love. Don't worry about me, I know where things are," he told her, his comfortable personality already kicking in.

"You should. After all, you guys did most of the unpacking." She moved towards the big staircase. "And I still can't find my missing Chilton skirt! Do you play dress up with it often, Finny?" she yelled back at him, disappearing into the bedroom.

* * *

><p>Rory woke up early on Sunday morning to the sound of her crying baby. She slowly reached into the bassinet, a movement that had become familiar to her over the last couple of weeks, and pulled Laylee to her. Lazily sitting up and adjusting her pillow, she pulled up her shirt and helped Laylee get at what she wanted before throwing her head back in hopes of a few more minutes of sleep. It seemed that Laylee's internal clock was very punctual; while they still had to wake her for the 3 am feeding, she woke up at 6 on the dot all on her own.<p>

Rubbing her eyes gently, Rory slowly pulled herself into consciousness and looked at Logan who was sleeping peacefully beside her. He was lying on his side, one arm tucked under the pillow, another thrown into her general direction, his blond hair going in all directions. Rory's eyes opened wide as she realized that today was Sunday and that in about four hours, her father-in-law would be walking through the door. She still had mixed feelings about Mitchum. He was the one person besides herself who had the ability to shake Logan down to his core, to undermine his confidence completely. She rarely saw Logan happy after seeing his father, and it was only recently that the relationship between the two had started healing. She knew that Mitchum liked her now, that he thought she was a decent journalist, and that he appreciated her ability to support Logan in his professional growth. Mitchum has been nothing but kind to her in the last few years, but a bitterness still remained in her mouth as she couldn't quite forget his word to her at the Stamford Eagle-Gazette, and Logan's broken expression every time he was told what a disappointment he was.

While his relationship with his children still had a ways to go, Rory could only admire Mitchum's devotion to his grandchildren. Much like with Richard and her mother, it seemed much easier for Mitchum to simply love Laylee and Matty. She remembered some of the more recent dinners at the Huntzbergers', before Laylee was born, where she and Honor would chat about the coming baby while Logan and Josh stared in awe as Mitchum played racecars with Matty on the floor. She never knew if Shira's disapproving look was directed at her or at the fact that her husband was on the floor like a toddler.

When Laylee was born, Mitchum was in Australia negotiating the purchase of his first paper there. He immediately flew home, getting to the hospital a few hours after Shira had left. Rory was sitting by the incubator, her finger tightly grasped in Laylee's tiny fist, murmuring a song to her. She remembered looking out the window of their room, seeing Logan pace back and forth, telling Mitchum about the terrifying hours that they have just been through. When Mitchum came inside, he squeezed Rory's shoulder, giving her a warm smile. "You gave her a beautiful name, Rory. She's a fighter- a true Huntzberger and Gilmore." Rory didn't know why, but that simple sentence had given her more faith than anything Logan had told her the previous night.

Noticing that Laylee was done nursing, she picked up the slumbering child and gently patted her back, eliciting a loud burp. She missed the small smile on Logan's lips as she placed Laylee back in the bassinet, watching her settle into sleep again before lying down herself and pulling the covers over her shoulders, only to have Logan pull her tightly into his spooning embrace.

* * *

><p>Logan looked around the living room, glancing at the clock on the wall again. It was 9:45, Rory was in the shower, Laylee was in the bouncy seat next to him, and he was tense. He didn't know what to expect from this visit, but based on past experience he had all his shields up. He had been looking over some financial papers, ready to give Mitchum accurate facts that painted his company in the best light, and he was armed with reasons for why he was working from home and why he hadn't been around. He didn't know what to expect and that rattled him even more.<p>

He made sure Laylee was buckled, even though he knew she isn't going anywhere, and made his way up the stairs two steps at a time, stopping at the door to their bedroom. Rory was standing in front of the full length mirror, in a jersey skirt and a bra, pulling on a shirt. She noticed his reflection in the mirror, and he walked over to her, standing behind her. "What'chya looking for, Ace?" he asked, his voice mischievous.

"Some clothes that fit. You should know that if I'm going to meet with your father in a stretchy skirt and a t-shirt, I'm pretty desperate," she said, taking off her shirt and going in search of another one. " We might just have to do some damage to your black card after all"

"We can go whenever you'd like. Or you can go with the girls or your mom." He stopped abruptly, remembering suddenly that right now that was not an option. "I'm sure Honor or Steph would love to go with you."

"Yeah, maybe I'll call Steph. So, is this good?" she asked, her face conflicted for a second as she tried to push away the thought of the sad state of her relationship with her mom. Logan looked at her in the navy cotton skirt and gray Yale t-shirt, and smiled.

"Looking like an eager freshman. Or the girl who bought bags full of Yale merchandise for a prospective student. " He pulled her into his arms, kissing her. "Come on, let's go get you something to eat."

* * *

><p>They were sitting at the kitchen island when the doorbell rang, their eyes meeting over their bowls of cereal. Rory shot Logan an encouraging smile, putting her spoon down and pushing the bowl away from her. "Why don't you get the door and I'll get this one and meet you in the living room?" she said, tilting her head toward the quiet child in the bouncy seat that they had dragged into the kitchen.<p>

She shot him a bright fake smile and he sighed, moving towards the door, taking a deep breath to prepare himself like he always did before a business meeting where a lot was at stake. It encouraged him to think that Rory was getting Laylee, though that just might be a way to avoid Mitchum for a few more minutes. He pulled the door open in one quick motion, as if pulling off a band aid. Mitchum was standing a few steps back from the door, a big bag in his hand, studying something or other in the structure of the house. Logan plastered a well–used smile on his face and leans against the door. "Dad! Come on in." He ushered him in, taking his coat and draping it on the rack. "The girls are in the living room."

Mitchum followed him into the living room, asking how he was, how work was. "You look tired, son," he said, and Logan could swear that he saw the wheels in his father's head turning. He didn't know what to think, if Mitchum was being sarcastic about calling in the middle of his nap with Laylee or actually being sincere . But when Rory came into the living room with Laylee in her arms, apologizing about keeping them waiting and babbling something about soggy cereal, Logan couldn't help but smile a true smile at the look on his father's face. Mitchum has crossed the living room, standing by Rory and lifting his finger to Laylee's delicate cheek, his eyes shining with a look of admiration. "Can I hold her?" he asked Rory, looking quickly at her before returning his gaze to his granddaughter.

Rory glanced at Logan, and he gave a quick nod. "Um, sure- just watch her head," she told him, as she slowly transferred the child into his arms. She watched him with a worried expression, and Logan made his way towards her and wrapped his arms comfortingly around her midsection, dragging her to sit down on the couch.

Mitchum held Laylee on him arm, her tiny head supported in his large palm. "She's grown since I last saw her," he commented, sitting on the armchair and smiling at the baby, and Rory was thankful that he didn't say anything about how small she started out or try to compare her to anyone. "And look at those eyes! Those are definitely your eyes, Rory, even though it is nice to finally have a child with a color similar to mine." Logan was trying to come up with something to say when Mitchum looked at them. "So how are you guys doing?"

"We're getting used to the pace of being home," Logan responded a little awkwardly, pulling Rory closer to him. Sitting down with his father with not even the pretense of business was still odd to him, and he doubted he would ever get used to it.

"Everything good at work?" Mitchum asked, and upon seeing Logan nod, he turned his look to Rory. "And you Rory? How are you?" He looked at her with penetrating pale eyes, and she shrugged.

"I guess I'm okay. Sleep deprived."

"Good, good. You know, she really is beautiful. Matthew was a pretty baby, and he's an adorable child, but she is just gorgeous," Mitchum said, leaving both parents in awe of his words and his enchantment with his granddaughter.

* * *

><p>It wasn't long before Mitchum and Logan were engrossed in a lively discussion about one of Obama's last policy changes, and Rory was sitting back, nursing her cup of coffee, lost in her own thoughts. Something was brewing in her chest, and she didn't know whether to attribute it to the fact that Logan's relationship with his father was improving, while hers with her mother seemed broken, at least for now, or to the fact that Laylee had smiled brightly at Mitchum while Lorelai did not even know that she was now capable of it. Despite their special relationship, she and Lorelai did not have the best track record when it came to communication, and a part of her was worried that she had effectively cost her daughter the experience of having her grandmother around when she was young. She didn't know how to fix it, and she felt guilty.<p>

And underneath the guilt, she was mad. Mad that she couldn't have just picked up the phone and called her mother to share her excitement about the news and the progress that Laylee seemed to be making, mad that she had gotten so worked up and, as Lorelai said, pointed her sharpest arrows at one of the people she loved most in the world, and mad about her mother's selfishness, at her inability to put her own wants and needs aside to do what was best for her daughter and granddaughter. But even above the anger, Rory was jealous. She was jealous that Lorelai was forty one years old, and had managed two perfectly normal pregnancies and perfectly normal children in the last two years, children that babbled and stood up in the crib and ran around without a care in the world. And beyond the jealousy, in a place that she would never share with anyone, she was mad at herself, because she had failed and because deep, deep inside her she resented Lorelai, and even Will and Jaime.

The sound of Logan calling her name shook her out of her every, and she looked at him, slight concern and questions in his eyes. "You okay there?" he asked, moving to take her now empty mug from her. "Dad was asking you a question and you seemed to be elsewhere."

"Yeah, fine," she shot him a smile, turning to Mitchum. "What did you ask?"

"I was just wondering how you like the new Prius, since I was thinking about getting one for driving in the city."

"I like it. I liked the previous one too," she replied quietly, thoughts still swarming in her head. "I haven't really had the chance to drive since we got it, but in the few times that I did it was definitely a comfortable drive." Mitchum seemed pleased by her answer, and turned to look back at Logan, who had just re-emerged from the kitchen.

"I wasn't aware that you got a third car. What made you decide on the Escalade? To make up for the Prius's efficiency? Balance out your eco-friendliness?" he asked Logan, somewhat mockingly.

"Oh, that's not ours," Logan said as he took his seat by Rory again. "It's Finn's. He is staying with us for a little bit."

Mitchum seemed surprised at this. He looked up towards the staircase, his face twisting into an amused smile. "Is he hiding upstairs or has he decided to exercise his legs for more than a walk to the bar?"

"No, he went out last night and opted to take the train. Said he would probably be back sometime today," Rory replied, her eyebrows painting a frown on her face as she turned to Logan. "He only took his camera with him, though- should we be worried?"

"Nah, he's a big boy." At Rory's skeptical look, his sighed. "Let's not call in the cavalry until tonight. He's not our kid, no matter how much he might act like one."

"It's hard for me to understand why you chose to make him Laylee's godfather, but I'm sure you had your reasons," Mitchum remarked, none too gently. "Still, he is a very talented photographer."

"He is. And now that he's left law school, I'm sure we'll be seeing more of him and definitely more work from him," Logan stated, his protectiveness of his friends peeking through as he sent his father a look daring to question Finn's motives.

"Another one out of the nest. Is Colin next? I can't quite see him leaving the firm." Mitchum chuckled a bit.

"Nah, I think Colin is good where he is," Logan said, keeping his tone even. "He was always pretty comfortable with the path set up for him. Just wanted to have fun along the way."

"Yes, he was always the most sensible one of the three of you. Even if he didn't have enough personality to keep you restrained."

Logan bit back a comment, beginning to tense up slightly at yet again being criticized by his father. "How do you know about Finn's photography?" he asked, frowning slightly as he thought back through the conversation.

"The birth announcement. The photos were credited to _Finn Funtography,_" Mitchum said, seeming confused at their look of surprise. "It was a beautiful announcement. I have it hanging in my office and in the study at home." Logan seemed surprised at this, but all Rory could think was that Matty's announcement was in the living room, for everyone to see. Still, she didn't know where this announcement came from. _I will just have to ask Finn about it later_, she thought, snuggling closer to Logan. "Which reminds me, I brought something. It's not anything too big, but I picked it up myself and I'm quite proud of it. And I've got some paperwork that you should have a copy of." Mitchum pointed to the bag he brought with him, not wanting to put Laylee down, and Logan reached over and pulled the bag towards them. He pulled out a big envelope and a Baby Dior box, handing the box to Rory to open while pulling out the papers himself.

Rory took the box, shrugging of the lid and putting it aside. She slowly lifted the delicate dress from the box and smiled. It was a beautiful tiny, sleeveless dress, with a white top and a skirt splashed with a paint-splotch pattern in blues and purples. There was an accompanying box holding tiny socks designed to look as if they were little Mary Jane shoes. Tucked at the bottom of the box in a separate bag was a blue onsie that proclaimed 'Grandpa's Little Princess' across the chest. Rory smiled a true smile, looked up to Mitchum, and was about to say something but was interrupted by Logan.

"Dad, this is…" he started, wide eyes darting between the papers in his lap and his father's face.

"Now son, before you start, this is not optional and it is what is rightfully hers," Mitchum stated, his face conveying that this was not a subject that he would budge on. Logan handed Rory the top sheet, and her mouth fell open in shock.

"I wasn't going to protest, Dad, just to ask if you are sure. That is a lot of money, and I'm sure Mom wasn't too happy about this." He couldn't look Mitchum in the face, watching instead as his daughter's eyes started to close.

"It's my money, Logan, and if want to put it in a trust fund for my granddaughter, there is nothing your mother can do about it," Mitchum huffed, following his son's gaze down toward the now sleeping Laylee.

"But this isn't just a trust fund, is it?" Rory interjected, pulling more papers from Logan's lap. "There's an entire trust just for her education. Did you not think that we would put money aside for that?" There were many emotions written over her face, and she was starting to feel how tired she really was.

"She's my grandchild, Rory. I want to make sure she receives the best education possible. It had nothing to do with you," he said, clearly not comprehending why this was bothering her so much. "You can choose to use it or not when you send her to school."

Rory handed the papers back to Logan, and placed the cloth back in the box. "Thank you for the clothes. The dress is really beautiful and I hope will fit her very soon." She stood up. "Excuse me, I'm just going to be a moment." She felt the tears building up in her eyes, threatening to spill over. The uncertainty of Laylee's future was killing her, and here Mitchum was convinced that her baby would be going to Yale. _Get a hold of yourself_, she told herself. O_ne day at a time._

Logan gathered the papers after she left the room, and looked up at his father. "We're dealing," he said, not willing to take it any further. "Thank you. We appreciate it, and I'm sure Laylee will too." Mitchum nodded, and the conversation lightened as Logan began to mock him about buying baby's clothing.

* * *

><p>It was almost noon when Mitchum left, and by then Rory was pretty much famished. She watched as Logan placed Laylee on his chest in the carrier, murmuring that if she set the table, he would whip them up a quick mac and cheese and salad. She looked at him and nodded, the pang of guilt hitting her again at how natural it was to Logan to just collect Laylee against him in the carrier, and how the slumbering child didn't even bat an eyelash and simply snuggled closer to her father. She quickly set the table and went to find her phone, setting a reminder to talk to Finn about the announcements. By the time she came back, Logan was pouring the deliciously artificial Wacky Mac onto her plate, along with some offending green items he seemed to expect that she would eat. Still, she gave him a small smile, and sat down.<br>"So…." Logan started, studying her face intently, as he set a plate in front of each of them. "That was kind of nice."

"Yeah, it was" Rory said, shifting uneasily in her chair. She wanted to be supportive, to be happy that Mitchum was so natural and loving to Laylee, but her unease about where she and Lorelai stood, and the thought that she was estranging her child from the _cool_ grandparent in her life unnerved her. She wanted Laylee to have fancy cotillion dresses and the ability to get anything she wanted from Mitchum with a bat of her eyes, but she also wanted her to go fishing with Papa Luke, to have Lorelai make her first dance costume. She pictured building fairy houses in the backyard and bowling with empty soda bottles and a pair of socks. She wanted her to have some of the childhood that Lorelai had given her, not only the ostentatious privilege that Logan grew up in. She wanted her to go to public school and grow up around regular people. More than anything, she wanted her to be able to do all those things. Right now, above any of those particulars, she just wanted Laylee to be able to be a normal child, and the lack of certainty weighed down on her every minute. The idea of having to think about sending Laylee to any kind of school was too much pressure for any delicate foundations she had built since her baby's birth, and she didn't feel like she could tell Logan about it. He would just smile and say _it will be ok, she's a fighter_. But he didn't know. And the other person she would turn to was not talking to her at the moment. And she was too mad at her to need her, right? And, God, how did it happen that _Mitchum Huntzburger_ saw her little girl smile before her own mother? She picked at her food, and suddenly looked at Logan.

"I don't think we should accept the money," she stated, eyes determined.

"What?" Logan eyes widened in shock. "You heard the man, there is no way we can reject it. It would just be there for Laylee when she needs it for school or when she turns twenty five." His eyes slowly narrowed, trying to gauge where this was coming from.

"Why would he even do that? I guess I get the trust fund. But we _can_ take care of her, we have so far. And we'll take care of her education, no matter what kind it will be. It's not like we're lacking money, and maybe this is some elaborate ploy just to get you back to HPG, to have his puppet again, to keep you away from us again. Or maybe you don't need a ploy. Maybe you're just waiting to get rid of us be the rich boy with the world at his fingertips again." She was being spiteful, and she knew it. It was her mother's hatred toward this kind of wealth bubbling out of her.

"Yes, we take care of her. At least, one of us does," Logan spat out, hurt at her insinuation, though immediately regretting his words. Rory's look shot up to him, blazing, as she got up from her seat. "Rory…" His tone was softer, apologetic.

"No," she said, storming out of the kitchen, leaving a defeated-looking Logan behind, pondering if he should follow her or not.

* * *

><p>She locked herself in the little library, curling into a ball on the soft plush armchair, the one she had picked when they moved in and which had soon become her favorite in the house. Tears were streaming down her face, and she remembered that this was the armchair that fit both of them when they came back from their honeymoon and always sought to be closer to one another. This was where she was sitting the first time she felt Laylee move inside her, the first time Logan felt Laylee kick, when she had her first contraction, right after her water broke. She remembered crying and telling Logan she ruined her favorite armchair, where she planned to snuggle with her baby and read books, like she had so many times previously on her own. This was a chair that up until that moment when her world had shattered only held positive memories. Then, it seemed, as she buried her face in her hands, everything changed. Logan had had it cleaned, the stains removed, but it could not remove her memories. And when it seemed like all the tears had run out, Rory passed her finger on the wet stain on the soft material. She looked around the room that was her safe haven: the empty boxes waiting to be filled with books and moved to the big library, the pile of presents that sat in the corner, the bin full of car toys among the empty ones in their pristine looking IKEA shelving unit, and the colorful curtains still in the bag, waiting to be hung up. She wanted to talk to someone desperately, and if she couldn't talk to Lorelai or Logan, she would have to look elsewhere. She pulled her phone from her pocket, dialing Stephanie, wiping the remnants of tears from her eyes. <em>Hey, you've reached Steph, leave a message<em>. She heard the beeping sound, and hung up. A message wouldn't help when she needed to talk to someone now. She scrolled down the contact list, and dialed Lane. The phone rang and rang, but no one picked up. _Typical Van Gerbigs, not having an answering machine. Not that it would help me in this case._ She ended the call and went back to looking through her contacts, when the phone started buzzing and a name popped up on the display. **DAD**_._ She sighed, swallowing hard, and answered.

She tried for cheerful. "Hey, Dad! What's up?"

"Rory? What's wrong?" He immediately noticed the trace of tears in her voice, and sat up from his lounging position on the couch. He might not have been a great father to her growing up, but now he was a constant presence in her life and had slowly developed a sense of his eldest's moods.

"Nothing, Dad. Just a long day," she sighed, attempting to get her emotions under control.

"Doesn't sound like nothing, kid. Did something happen?" He was growing more concerned by the second, Lorelai's words about Rory's condition echoing in his head. _She's disappearing, Chris. My little girl is vanishing and all that is left is this irritable mess of skin and bones._ He had tried to calm her, placating her while promising to watch out for their girl.

"Mitchum was here today," she started.

"Did he say something to you?" Chris shot out, not letting her continue. "'Cause if he did, I swear Rory..." He was now pacing in his living room like a caged tiger.

"No, Dad. He was fine. Logan and I had an argument after he left." Tears were burning the back of her eyes again, threatening to spill over. "We both said-" She stopped, taking a deep breath. Tears started to spill over. "We both said things and, oh God, I was horrible to him, Daddy." She was fully crying now, hand wiping under her eyes unsuccessfully.

"Rory, sweetie, I'm sure it wasn't so bad." He tried to comfort her, attempting to push his anger at his son-in-law aside. "It was an argument, hon."

"I picked a fight with him and then I said- I insinuated that he would leave us for HPG, Dad," she cried, having trouble getting the words out. "And he's been so good. With Laylee, to me."

"Rory, he loves you." He was confident of that. "Talk to him, apologize. And tell me what's really going on. I mean it. Why are you picking fights with your husband?" he questioned her softly, knowing fighting with Lorelai was weighing on her. He had felt it weighing on Lorelai too when it had pushed her to call him in the first place, despite the history between the two of them.

"Everything is just…" She stopped, taking a deep breath, trying to get herself under control. "So messed up. He should leave me, take Laylee from me. I'm a horrible mother, I'm horrible to _MY_ mother, and I'm horrible to him. And I love him, Daddy. I love him and I don't know how I can treat him the way I do."

"I know you love him, kiddo. Talk to him, tell him what you just told me- without all that crap about being horrible, Rory." He sighed, thinking about how to continue. "You are going through some rough times, honey. Being a parent isn't easy. I should know. I ran away from it the first time. But you're still there, aren't you?" He probed her conviction gently, hoping to have his confidant daughter again.

"Yes, but I'm not doing her any good," she told him in a small, quiet voice. "She's my baby and I'm afraid of her."

"It's amazing how these tiny creatures can scare you, huh? You know, the first time I held you, I was so afraid you'd break." He sat back down, picking up his glass of water and looking at the coaster that had a picture of Gigi with Rory and Logan from their wedding. "I know it's terrifying, honey, but take it one day at a time, ok? She loves you and she needs you, even if she can't express it." He set the cup down and picking up the coaster, turning it in his fingers and looking at the picture. "Logan too."

"Ok," she quietly said before taking a deep breath and sitting up. "I should go, dad."

"Of course. Call me anytime, kiddo, got it?"

"Thanks, Daddy. I love you," she told him. For a long time it had just been a platitude to end their infrequent calls, but now she said it honestly.

"I love you too, kid," Chris sighed, ending the call. Rory sat there for another moment, gathering herself and her thoughts. _You have to. For Laylee. You have to get up, and deal with life._ She took a breath and sat up, about to get up to find Logan when her phone rang again. _Stephanie. _She hit the ignore button, not wanting to get distracted by a long conversation, and started composing a text. _Hey ,it's been a while. I desperately need a shopping trip- nothing fits! Soonish? _She sent it, got up and walked towards the corner full of presents. She picked one bag up, pulling out a plush teddy bear, and smiled. She put it down and reached for another when her phone beeped. She opened the text, smiling at Steph's words. _You know I can't say no to shopping! Thu morning? We could do lunch too, I have nothing scheduled until 3._ Rory confirmed and put the phone away in her pocked, setting out to find Logan and apologize.

* * *

><p>When Logan walked through the back door, Rory was sitting on the small library floor, laptop in front of her as she sorted through the huge pile of presents and made a list so she could start sending out thank-you notes. She decided to set out on the task when she couldn't find Logan anywhere in the house, and the new stroller was missing. It had been over an hour, and she was only about a third of the way through the pile when she heard the back door creak. She immediately got up, and raced toward the kitchen, positioning herself first by the sink and then leaning against the island. Logan stood with his back to her pulling the stroller through the door, all sweaty in his running clothes with his headphones still in his ears. When he turned with the stroller and spotted her, she could tell that he was surprised to see her. She sent a small smile his way, and peeked into the stroller bassinet. The caution was unwarranted, however, as she found herself looking down on a very awake and alert baby.<p>

"Has she slept at all?" she asked gently, following him as he guided the stroller towards the living room.

"Yes," he replied, even that one word a little harsh. He stopped in the living room and putting the brake on the stroller. "She woke up about half an hour after we left."

"Logan-" she started, but he lifted a hand to stop her.

"She needs to eat, and I need to shower," he said, starting to climb up the stairs, leaving her with the gurgling child in her bassinet. She didn't follow him, instead picking up her daughter and making her way to armchair, settling in and starting to feed her child. Laylee latched on immediately, and Rory caressed her soft head, smiling at her little girl. "I will fix it, baby, I promise," she tells her as she gently passed her fingers down the little face. "Mommy is going to get better," she murmured. "I promise."

When Laylee fell asleep, she slowly carried her upstairs, placed her in the bassinet and kissed her tiny forehead. She walked confidently into their bathroom, shedding her clothes in the process, before getting into their shower. She wrapped her hands around Logan from the back, and sighed when she felt him stiffen.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she whispered, again and again, until he relented and turned in her arms.

"I know." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "And I'm sorry too- I shouldn't have said-"

"No." She stopped him with a finger to him mouth. "You were right about the way I am with her," she said quietly. It was something that she had been thinking about nearly constantly since Laylee came home, but hearing him express it had cut her deeply.

"I wasn't, Rory. You are trying, and doing a lot. And it wasn't fair of me to say otherwise- Laylee _does_ need her mother." He ran a hand through his wet hair. "But- Ror- Do you-" He had a hard time getting the words out. "Do you really think that I will leave you? Either of you? Ever?"

"I don't, Logan. I really don't think you will, and I'm sorry for saying that I did," she told him honestly, pushing him against the wall, pushing herself against him.

He put a hand on her shoulder, pushing her back slightly so she was not flush against him. "You can't fix everything with sex, Rory. You have to let me in. Talk to me, don't just pick a fight. You can't just snap at me all the time, and then come back later, apologize and expect me to be ok with it." He looked into her eyes, her face now wet from the water falling around them. "If the money from my dad really bothers you that much than we can figure something out," he said, sending her a small smile. "But I have a feeling that's not it."

She sighed, and looking back at him, trying to avoid the tears again. "It's not that. It's- it's this whole mess with my mother." It felt odd to hear out loud instead of in the endless swarm of recrimination and confusion in her head. "I don't know how to fix that. And he saw Laylee smile, and she doesn't even know she smiles and I want her to go fishing with Luke and to wear dresses that my mother made and to have Christmas in Stars Hollow and-"

"Ace! She will, she will." He pulled her into his arms. "We'll figure out this thing with your mom. Together. You need to have a more positive attitude- to everything. "

"I don't know that we can. I think I really screwed up this time," she sobbed into his chest.

He placed a finger under her chin and pushed her face up so she was looking into his eyes. "That's not the right attitude, Ace. The right attitude is 'yes, we'll figure it out'. Your mother loves you, and maybe we all will need to give up on some of our pride, but we're family- we'll figure it out."

She knew he was right. She smiled at him, for keeping her confident, for always having her back, for loving her. "I love you," she told him simply.

"Now how about that make up sex?" He cheekily asked, pushing her against the glass on the shower wall, kissing her hungrily. She wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He reached to grab her leg and bring it around him when the shrill cry of a baby could be distinctly heard over the tumult of the water and through their haze of arousal. Logan sighed and dropped his head to the crook of her neck. "Crap."

"Sorry, Mac," Rory said, suppressing a smile. She grabbed a fluffy towel to wrap around herself and walked towards their bedroom, leaving him in the now cold shower, his forehead pressed against the cool glass.

* * *

><p>Later that night, all three Huntzbergers were sound asleep when the phone rang. <em>Hey, you've reached Logan and Rory, we try and check this thing every once in a while, but no promises.<em> The beep sounded, and after it, a sigh could be heard.

"Rory? Hi, it's Luke. Listen, I know you and your mom had a big fight. But she misses you, kid. Anyways, I hope Laylee is doing well. Bye." He was never good in the talking department, usually leaving it as Lorelai's job, but some things just needed to be done.

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><p><strong>Thougts? Feelings? Suggestions? Comments? Things you would like to see? I would love some reviews! <strong>

**Thank you for reading and sticking with this story, even if I am a horrible updater. Lots of love!**


	9. Chapter 9

**_I owe you guys a huge apology. This took beyond forever. I never forgot about it, and I have been working on it- but life is crazy. I started a full time teaching job, I moved and life simply got in the way of writing. I'll try to be better. Thanks a million to my amazing beta, _fluffernutter8, _her input is so critical. Both literary and grammatical. Thanks!_**

**_I won't keep you further- enjoy, and remember- reviews are love!_**

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><p>Logan entered the examination room and set the car seat on the table. He pushed the sunshade up and smiled at his little girl, undoing the buckles while he did so. "Hey there, sleepy head, time to wake up and see how big you've gotten," he gurgled at her, not noticing the doctor entering the room. He heard the man chuckle, and turned to him, baby already in his arms. Dr. Goldstein was smiling at him, pointing towards the scale, gesturing that he should undress Laylee and put her on.<p>

"How are you today, little lady?" he asked the baby as he adjusted the weights on the scale.

"Good, good. Eating a lot." Logan took the liberty of answering for his infant daughter while pulling out a clean diaper out of the bag.

"Five pounds, fifteen ounces! Growing. And how's your wife doing?" Dr. Goldstein turned to Logan, handing him the now naked and crying child.

"She's ok, doing better. A little frustrated at being stuck at home. I don't think she ever got used to the pace of not working," Logan said, feeling oddly close to the doctor he had known for less than two months. He was used to keeping his life private, having only a small circle of people he deemed trustworthy, knowing that even though he left HPG, he was still heir to it and he needed to avoid having his face and business splashed all over cheap tabloids. But more than that, he definitely did not want to find the faces of his wife and daughter there. Remembering the baby, he quickly dressed Laylee and calmed her.

"I assume she went to see Dr. Kelmar?"

"Yes, she did and it's definitely helping. It's a slow process, though. I'm trying to give it time." He snuggled Laylee close to his chest, the last of her wails subsiding, as Dr. Goldstein looked at her in his arms. "I think that once this one gets bigger and we are able to see more of our families and friends, things will be easier for her."

"Why aren't you seeing them?" The doctor looked at him curiously.

"In the NICU they said we should stay away from young children and closed spaces, and most of our family and friends have young children," Logan explained, placing Laylee back in the car seat and doing the straps.

"What they mean is you should be careful. The warning usually holds towards small children, the age where they have lots of runny noses and 'teething' fevers. Older than six or seven, unless they are sick, I wouldn't worry. Laylee looks great, she holds her head nicely and her smile is beautiful. And try not to take all recommendations to an extreme because that is all that they are- recommendations," Dr. Goldstein said, patting Logan on the shoulder on his way out of the room. "Let's give it two weeks before you come in again, ok?"

Logan looked at Laylee, almost back to sleep, and smiled. "We're making progress, baby girl. Two weeks! You are getting so big that before you know it, you won't even fit into the preemie clothes anymore." He shook the doctor's hand, pulled the sunshade down, and whistling, walked out of the office.

He clicked the seat into the base in the car and got in the driver's seat. Things were changing, he realized. This morning Rory had fed and dressed her while he made breakfast. Rory smiled and made funny faces, trying to elicit a smile from the infant, and Logan had turned his back to hide the fact that he was grinning madly. His Ace was slowly starting to re-emerge, and he couldn't be happier.

* * *

><p>After putting the plates in the dishwasher and washing the pan, Rory poured herself a cup of chocolate milk and stood in the kitchen, not really sure what she should be doing. She and Logan had tackled both adult and baby laundry last night, and had even put everything away. She got back into bed and picked up her book, reading the first paragraph on the page about six times, before giving up and putting it back down with a huff. She had spent most of Monday morning going through the presents in the library, creating a pile of things they would never use and putting all the rest away, and now all she was left with were half a million thank you notes to write. With a sigh, she grabbed her drink and made her way back down the stairs, settling in her favorite armchair with her laptop in her lap. She looked around at the transforming room, where a few bins now held baby toys and stuffed animals, the carpeted floor was newly adorned with a play mat that had hanging toys over it, and most of the books were in boxes, waiting to be taken to the main library. The room was slowly transforming into a family and play room, as she wanted it to. She smiled to herself and thought that maybe, just maybe, things are starting to get back on the track she wanted their lives on.<p>

She managed to write two notes, one to Babette and one to Miss Patty, before giving up. Babette had gotten Laylee a pink baby outfit that had a sparkly silver crowns and shoes pattern all over with ruffles on the rear. Across the chest in bright pink it said _Princess_. The gift had also included a matching headband. Rory made a mental note to take a picture of Laylee in the outfit to show Babette and then place it with the rest of the stuff going to Goodwill. Miss Patty got them some ballerina tutus in an assortment of colors and sizes, and some ballet slippers. _Every girl wants to be a ballerina sometimes _the card read, and Rory smiled, placing the items in the bin of things too big. She was sitting in front of the computer, staring at the blank screen of what was supposed to be the note for Gypsy. Frustrated, she shut down the tab, opening a Word document instead and starting to type. _Writing seems to have always been your passion, why not channel difficulties out through that?_ Dr. Kelmar had asked during their appointment yesterday, and she wanted to try. Her mind was racing faster than she could type, and by the time she looked up at the clock over an hour later, she had some material which, while rough, could make the first two articles in a series.

She smiled to herself, and went back to read it over, already trying to make it into an actual column, burrowing deeper into the chair as she settled back into the rhythm of working.

* * *

><p>When Logan walked into the house with Laylee and Finn in tow, he found Rory sitting in her armchair, completely absorbed in something she was working on. He smiled to himself, realizing that this was the first time he has seen her sit there since that horrible night, and walked towards her, frowning slightly when even then she doesn't seem to notice him coming.<p>

"What's got you so sucked in, Ace?" he casually asked, sitting on the arm of the chair behind her back, trying to sneak a peek at the screen as she looked up at him, startled.

"Nothing, nothing," she said a little too quickly, minimizing the document and looking back at him. "How was the doctor?" She was trying to divert his attention, and he knew it.

"Great. I'll tell you all about it over lunch. Finn's cooking." He dropped a kiss on her head.

"Lunch? Already?" She frowned, looking at the clock.

"It's almost one, Ace. Are you going to tell me what you were working on?" he asks, pressing closer to her.

"All in due time, Logan." She shut the lid of the computer and got up, placing it on the table in the room and reaching for his hand. Logan grasped hers, deciding not to press her, to let her come to him when she was ready. They walked out of the room together in search of their daughter and crazy Australian friend.

* * *

><p>When Logan and Rory walked into the kitchen, Finn was placing what looked to be sandwiches on three plates. He ignored their entrance. Logan smirked when he noticed Laylee in the bouncy seat on the counter, looking around curiously. "What'chya making, Finny?" Rory asked as she made her way to the stove to try and sneak a peek.<p>

"You shall see in a moment, now move." He pushed her aside lightly, placing the pan back on the stovetop and drizzling something from the measuring cup on the plates. "Done!" he announced, grabbing two plates and sliding them onto the island, turning back to grab a third and sitting down with it. "Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in!"

"Ah, Finn, darling, what is this lovely lunch you have made for us?" Rory questioned, looking suspiciously at the sandwiches and salad he had placed in front of her. Logan chuckled, leaving Laylee's side to take a seat by where Rory stood.

"They're mozzarella paninis, love. And a garden salad with honey mustard dressing. Try it!" He picked up his own sandwich as if to demonstrate.

Rory took her seat, lifting up the bread and examining it closely. "And there's no green anything in it, right?" She shot Finn a questioning look, and only after a shake of his head did she take a bite. It was like a mozzarella stick and marinara sandwich, and Rory smiled as she devoured it. Logan and Finn laughed, commenting on the return of the Gilmore appetite.

"So, Doc's happy with her weight. Five fifteen! Just an ounce short of the whole six pounds." Logan told her, pride shining in his eyes. "And she's holding her head great and smiling. We've been told to come back in two weeks."

"Wow. Who would have thought, almost triple her birth weight," Rory said, laughing slightly to herself.

"What's so amusing, Ace?" Logan was pretty sure he was missing the joke.

"Nothing. It's just that all baby books tell you that your baby needs to triple the birth weight by a year old. Ours is not even six months yet and she's doing it!" She laughed. "And yes, I know it's different for her, but still, I'm allowed to take some pride- I do all the feeding!"

Logan was encouraged by her good mood and appetite, watching as Finn placed another panini on her plate even though her salad remained untouched once she had picked all out the avocado. "Doc also said that we should ease up on the quarantine," he started, gauging her reaction. "Said that kids over six are not really an issue as long as they are not sick, and that we can slowly see younger ones too." He tried to say it casually and gently, knowing she didn't want to think about her brothers now.

"That's good news," she said quietly, hoping to drop the subject. She poked her fork around in her salad and looked at Finn. "Is there any more salad? I've eaten all the good parts of mine." She looked down sheepishly, eyes in her plate.

"There's more avocado in the little bowl, set aside for you," Finn told her, smiling wickedly. "I remember you craved them all throughout your pregnancy."

"The other good thing to come out of the pregnancy: Rory Gilmore eating something green and healthy," Logan teased as he grabbed the bowl and set it in front of her. "Eat up. At least I know that one good thing goes in your body."

"I want to do a photo shoot," Finn blurted out suddenly, looking straight at them from across the island.

"What?" they both asked simultaneously, looking up at him.

"A photo shoot. Of the two of you and Laylee. I have a bunch of pictures of hers from the NICU and they're the basis of my show, but I need some sappy family pictures to hang around the gallery and attract customers." He put his fork down and looked straight into Rory's eyes. "It can just be here in the backyard, we don't have to go anywhere. I just need some family-friendly, pretty people beauty shots. Family portraits are a good way to start a client following, even if it's not my favorite thing to do. Well, not when the subject is not my gorgeous godchild."

"Ok," Rory said, nodding. Seeing an opportunity, she hesitantly asked, "By the way, did you make the birth announcements Mitchum was talking about?" She still felt weird that someone other than her had sent out birth announcements for her daughter, and she wanted to put the mystery to rest.

"I took the pictures, but the idea to send them out was Lorelai's, and the design was hers too. I just took care of the printing," he told her, eyes still locked with hers. "We wanted to tell you about it and have your final approval, but then Laylee got that infection." He paused, sneaking a glance at his goddaughter looking at toys in her bouncy seat. "And you had other things on your mind."

"Right. Well, thanks. I appreciate it." She kept her gratitude brief, her mind going back to the day she had almost lost her daughter for the second time. She recalled Finn and Lorelai being there, and the serious faces of the doctors when they told her that they were giving Laylee very strong antibiotics and that they hoped she would make it through the night. She remembered when they intubated Laylee again, pushing that plastic tube back down her throat and forcing air into her lungs when she couldn't do it on her own anymore. Her baby's face was full of tubes again, she was back on the vent, and gone were the oxygen nasal cannula on room air and the thought of being discharged earlier than planned. She had an infection that was wreaking havoc through her tiny body and she couldn't breathe again. Rory felt like she was being suffocated by the memory of the beeping monitor, the thoughts of being shoved aside again as doctors pumped more and more drugs into the baby's tiny body, upping her dosage and percentage of ventilation until she was stable again. She felt Logan tugging on her sleeve, but it was Laylee's cry that brought her out of the haze of memories. "Is she ok?" she asked, almost surprised to see her there, breathing on her own, dressed in a light blue outfit and little socks rather than just a diaper and wires.

"She's fine. Are you ok?" Logan quietly asked, searching her face for evidence of where her mind had just taken her.

"Yeah, just memories." She smiled at him weakly as she made her way towards the counter the bouncy seat was on. "Hey Finn, do you still have a copy of the announcement?"

"I think I must somewhere, and I have the saved file, so I can always print out more," he told her, watching her gently pull Laylee into her arms and hold the baby a little closer than usual.

"Good, I would like to see it. So, when's the photo shoot?" she asked, changing the subject abruptly.

"Tomorrow morning, 5 am. Sunrise is the best light!" he announced, grabbing the plates and heading towards the sink.

"5 am?" Logan shouted. "Are you nuts?"

"Come on, you'll be up to feed the little miss anyways. Why not roll around the grass for a bit?" Finn finished placing the dishes in the sink and made his way upstairs, clearly assuming that his models would agree with his logic.

"We'd better have an early night tonight then, Ace. I can't believe you agreed to this," Logan grumbled, annoyed that his best friend had roped him into it.

"He's right though. We are usually up to feed her between 5:30 and 6 anyway. I'll just grab an early morning nap before going for shopping and lunch with Steph." She made her way towards the living room, Laylee snuggled close to her chest. "And I will start calling those babysitters this afternoon, otherwise we won't have a babysitter for Saturday night," she called over her shoulder, letting him know she hadn't forgotten about his work event.

Logan sighed and made his way into the office. His household might be crazy, but he could at least try to get some work done that day.

* * *

><p>Logan pulled Laylee out of the bath and started rubbing her dry. He was whistling happily, drawing the attention of the infant who turned wide blue eyes at him. Smirking at her, he quickly got her dressed and passed his hand gently through the little bit of reddish hair that was on her head. "Growing and growing every day, aren't you, my sweet girl?" he asked her, picking her up and snuggling her close to his chest. "Let's go find Mommy so you can eat and go to bed, okay, princess?"<p>

He headed down the stairs towards the office, only to find Rory hanging up the phone with an annoyed expression on her face. "What's wrong?" he asked her immediately, sitting on the desk facing her in the swivel chair.

"I have talked to three so called _recommended_ babysitters and they all sounds like complete idiots," she told him, crossing her arms in front of her and looking like a child, before reaching for him to hand her the baby. Her voice softened as she kissed her forehead. "Hey sweetie. You smell so clean."

"Okay," he sighs, not wanting to cast aspersions on her judgment, although he did wonder what they could have said in a short phone call that made Rory so quick to classify them as idiots. "You talked to three, so try the last one. Maybe she'll be better?" he suggested, a painful smile gracing his tired face.

"Here goes nothing," she said, picking up the phone with one hand and dialing while she spread her other palm over Laylee's back. Logan kissed her forehead and leaned back against the table, clearly wanting to be in the room while she talked to the girl. "Ashley? Hey. My name is Rory Huntzberger. My husband got your number from one of the nurses in our pediatrician's office and I'm looking for a babysitter for my daughter for Saturday night." It was such a simple conversation starter, but Logan still smiled. He never got tired of hearing her called Huntzberger, and the way she said _my daughter_ made his grin grow larger.

"Do you have experience watching small infants? Great. And I assume you have a CPR certification? Excellent. She was a preemie, and is now 5 weeks old pretty much." Logan watched her nod and say _uh-huh _into the phone a few times as she listened to the girl talk. "That's great to hear. Are you available on Saturday from about four to-"- She looked at Logan questioningly. _10:30? 11?_ he mouthed at her. "About 11, give or take? Excellent. How about you come by than? I'll text you our address. Thank you." She ended the call, a slight frown on her face.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked her again, crossing his arms across his chest as his eyes bore into her.

"She sounded better than the other ones, but I just don't know. I don't know if I trust Laylee with anyone while she's still so little, Logan." Rory said, looking down at the child who was snuggled into her.

"She'll be fine. Go on, get this one to bed. I have some stuff to finish up." He pushed himself off the desk, kissing Laylee's forehead and then offering Rory his hand.

She took it and stood up, adjusting Laylee in her arms and starting to walk upstairs. "Can you just bring diapers with you when you come up later? We're running low in our room." He nodded and headed into the closet, pulling out a new package and going to place it by the stairs to take up later.

* * *

><p>After doing a few more hours of work, Logan got a text from Rory. <em>I'm shutting the TV off and going to sleep. You coming? We have an early day tomorrow<em>. He chuckled, finishing the email he was working on and logging off the system. _Be there in 15, go to sleep_, he texted her back, stretching and then getting up from his desk and heading into the kitchen to grab a cup of water. On his way upstairs, the phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered, regretting it immediately as Emily's voice came through the speaker. With quick, sharp words that left him no doubt as to where Lorelai and Rory's wit came from, she berated him for not bothering to stay in touch, and then got him to begrudgingly agree to attend dinner the following Friday. Annoyed with himself for allowing Emily Gilmore to guilt trip him, he headed upstairs, remembering to take the package of diapers up with him. But his progress to bed was stopped again when he found Finn staring at the closed door of the room adjacent to their bedroom. He went up and stood beside his friend.

"That was supposed to be Laylee's room," he told him, looking down. "We never got around to picking a color to paint it." He opened the door quietly and showed him into the dark red room. His fingers clutched the diapers a little tighter than necessary. "We never picked out furniture or any of it." Finn nodded and moved into the room, leaning one of his knees on the window seat, and looking out the window. He turned and faced Logan.

"I'll take care of it," he said firmly, still studying the room carefully.

"Just don't let Rory catch you in here. The thought that we never got around to it doesn't help her mood," Logan told him, and he left the room, closing the door silently behind him and heading into his own bedroom. He quickly shed his clothes, climbing into bed and pulling Rory to him. "I got us roped into Friday night dinner at your grandparents next week," he whispered in her ear.

"S'ok," she told him, turning in his arms so she was facing him. "They would have wanted to see Laylee soon anyway." He kissed her head and closed his eyes, falling asleep with her, impossibly grateful for all of it.

* * *

><p>"Finn, it's five am and my baby is out in only her diaper. Get on with it, my patience is limited," Logan grumbled, annoyed at the cheery commands coming from the Australian so early in the morning. "How come you are so happy? The <em>SUN<em> is coming up, you know."

"I'm doing what I love, mate. I didn't _need_ to drink myself into oblivion last night," Finn told him, tweaking the settings on his camera. "But how about we just start with the little one, so you can finish that coffee I made you guys." He motioned for Logan to place a now naked Laylee in a little basket, and began snapping pictures. Logan frowned as he saw Finn place a big flower beside her, and then added an oversized headband.

Rory had joined them outside, nursing a mug of coffee herself, and leaned on Logan. He instinctively wrapped his free arm around her and they both watched as Finn kept switching the accessories on their daughter, from headbands to tutus to fuzzy blankets, capturing images in various positions. Laylee was oblivious, and just slept through it all, sometimes contracting her face as if dreaming. Sipping the last of her coffee, Rory placed the mug on the soft grass and walked closer to the makeshift studio. "Hey Finn, didn't you want some _family_ pictures? Because I'd be happy to let you be with her every day at this hour, but there is no need for me to be awake. "

"Come here, then, love! Let's get some of you with her." He motioned for her to come closer, and she picked up the sleeping child, snuggling her close to her chest and kissing her forehead. Finn snapped that photo, and then spotted the lounge chair that was currently under a tree that was in full bloom, shedding purple flowers all around it. "Rory, love, why don't you go sit over there, under that tree?" Rory looked up and nodded, quickly making her way towards the chair. Finn went over and shook the branch a little, so some petals drifted down on them as he took a few steps back and carefully tried to capture the moment between mother and daughter.

It didn't take long for Laylee to realize that it was Rory holding her, and she opened her blue eyes at her mother. Rory smiled at her, and made funny faces, but when the child started to cry, she helped her in the only way she knew: she nursed her. Laylee was happy to eat again, and Rory tugged her shirt around to make sure that Finn could only see some of her midriff and the back of the child's head. Logan was surprised, as Rory always nursed with a cover when not in the privacy of their bedroom, but hoped that this was another sign of her getting more comfortable with Laylee. When Laylee was done, Finn asked if they would all just lie down on the blanket he spread on the grass. Logan took Laylee from Rory and dressed her in a white onesie and tiny jeans, so she would match the two of them. Rory sat down, leaning against the trunk of the tree the blanket was lying under, waiting for Logan to join her.

They were having fun. Yes, it was early in the morning, but Laylee was in a good mood, smiling, happy and alert, and all three of them enjoyed rolling around on the blanket together, eventually moving for a family cuddle in the hammock. As Finn snapped a picture of Logan and Rory touching their noses to each other, Rory's cell rang. Peeking at the display, Finn called out, "Love, it's your Dad." Rory got off the hammock with Logan's help, and ran to pick up her phone. Finn started taking some daddy/daughter shots as she walked away from them towards the other side of the yard and answered the call.

"Dad? Everything ok? It's 7:30 in the morning." She could feel worry spreading through her.

"Hey, kid. I'm sorry for calling so early, but I have a huge favor to ask." He sighed, bracing himself.

"Go on," she said, her original panic not dissipating.

"I found a flyer about a mother-daughter tea they are having at Gigi's school tomorrow that she never told me anything about. She claims that it's girls only so I can't take her and that's why she doesn't want to go and now I'm stuck. The nanny is away on vacation, and I have no one else to ask. She will be the only one there without someone to go with, Ror, and I just…" He took a breath, trailing off as his rant ended.

"What time?" she asked, her heart going out to Gigi. After feeling alone for not having a dad around for much of her childhood, she was determined not to let her sister be the odd one out.

"Really? You'll do it?" Christopher was shocked.

"Yes. She's my sister, and she shouldn't suffer just because Sherry is a crappy mother." Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked at her child, smiling so easily as Logan lifted her up in the air.

"You are a good mother, Rory, and a terrific sister. I don't know many who would do something like this last minute for their sister," he told her, picking on the subtext even without seeing her expression. "She doesn't have actual school tomorrow, but the event is scheduled for eleven. I would love if you could all come down, and I'll hang out here with Logan and Laylee. I took the day off work anyway."

"Yeah, that might be the best idea. I don't really want to drive the whole thing by myself. And I hate pumping," she added absentmindedly.

"Yeah," Chris said awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to that. "You're welcome to drive up tonight if you want to avoid morning traffic. Just let me know, ok? And again, thank you so so much. You don't know what a relief this is for me."

"It'll be great to see you Dad. I'll confirm with Logan, but hopefully we'll see you soon. Love you." She concluded the call, walking back towards the group. Logan had placed Laylee on the blue blanket on her belly and Finn had thrown the blankie Lorelai had made her over her head, and was snapping pictures of her smiling and trying to keep her head up.

By the time Rory reached the blanket, phone discarded by Logan's in the grass again, he was holding Laylee in one arm and beaming at her. When Rory got close enough, he pulled her towards him with his free arm, kissing her. Rory was surprised by his actions, but kissed him back. When they parted, she pressed her forehead into his and laughed with him. "What was that for?" she asked quietly, a huge smile gracing her lips.

"Because I love you. And you gave me the biggest present in the world," he told her, pulling her into a kiss again.

Finn was smiling to himself as he captured picture after picture of his godchild beaming at her happy parents. This would make excellent material for the model shots of his new studio and for the plan he had for Laylee's new bedroom.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Rory walked into the office with the baby monitor, placing it on Logan's desk and tapping his shoulder to get his attention.<p>

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked immediately, noting that she was still in her jeans from that morning, but had traded her t-shirt for a cute top that was a touch too big.

"Yeah, lunch with Steph, remember?" she gently reminded him. "And we have to be in Boston at ten thirty tomorrow morning. I told Dad I'll take Gigi to her mother-daughter tea at school."

"Is that what he called about?" At her look at confirmation, he smiled. "Well, it's a three hour drive, but mostly against traffic. Two mornings of early rising, whoopee." He laughed, taking a quick look at the display on the monitor where Laylee was sleeping soundly on her back. Rory had laughed at him when he first suggested a video monitor, back when they were first thinking about all the baby equipment they would need. But now he knew that it calmed her to be able to see Laylee from everywhere in the house, just as it did him. And he was happy to invest the extra money for the peace of mind of knowing that his little girl was only a glance away.

"Your college years are so far behind you if you can't deal with a little sleep schedule shake-up." She patted his cheek condescendingly. "Buck up. You can nap while Gigi and I are being polite ladies of perfect society. I'm sure Dad would love to watch little red there." She tapped the monitor, and he smiled at the nickname Finn had given Laylee. Rory noticed for the first time the number of nicknames her baby had accumulated despite everything: Steph's Thumbelina had started the first time she had come to visit the NICU, and now Finn had wanted in as well. His was becoming more and more fitting, as her hair was clearly turning redder by the day.

"Go. Have fun. There's milk in the freezer and I might even venture out with her for a run later." He pushed her away from him, smiling. "And do some damage to that black card I put in your wallet- it's there for a reason."

"Bribery is no foundation for a marriage!" she told him as she walked out the door, smiling to herself. She grabbed her sunglasses, purse and keys, and left the house lighthearted and smiling, walking out into beautiful sunshine.

* * *

><p>When Steph walked into the mall, she immediately spotted Rory as her friend stood outside Starbucks, nursing her drink while absentmindedly flipping through the New York Times that was on the table.<p>

"Rory!" she yelled out, hugging her friend. "Where's the baby?" She looked around, disappointment showing on her face that Laylee wasn't joining their spree.

"She has a name now, you know," Rory laughed, freeing herself from Steph's hug. "One we worked hard to pick. And I believe Logan is taking her running." She handed the blonde a cup, and motioned that they should start walking.

"Running?" Steph crinkled her nose in distaste before taking a sip of her coffee. "Thanks for this, though."

"You know Logan's inexplicable hobby. Started in California, but somehow it made the move with us," Rory told her, rolling her eyes at Steph's obvious disapproval.

"I'm sad not to see her," Steph pouted.

Rory sipped her drink again. "Mommy needed some breathing time, enclosed places aren't good for her, and I really wanted to shop." As Rory counted off the reasons, she smiled slightly at the feeling of missing her daughter that was brewing inside her. It wasn't a good feeling, but it was a motherly one, and new to her at that. She had missed her at night when she left her in the NICU, but was also relieved to be able to go home and rest. This was a different kind of missing, a knowledge that she would see her daughter soon along with a simple desire for soon to come sooner. "You can stop by the house anytime, you know. We are usually around," she admonished her friend lightly.

"I've been wanting to, but I wasn't sure if you are accepting visitors," Steph said quietly. "Colin and I still have your baby present."

"Well, come around for dinner one night. You can come early and play before she goes to bed, and then we can hang out for a bit," Rory told her, smiling.

"Let me talk to Colin, and we'll figure a night sometimes soon. I miss Thumbelina."

"You'll have to pry her away from Finn and he's pretty possessive," Rory informed her, pulling her into a store.

Later on the two found their way to a quiet café with outdoor seating, where they sat in the warm sun surrounded by bags and food.

"How is it living with Finn?" Steph asked, curious to hear if their friend had changed at all in the last couple of years. If not, she suspected that Rory and was in for a roommate experience even stranger than her time with Paris.

"It's fine. We don't see him that much and it hasn't been that long. He's really busy trying to establish his studio and when he's not dragging us out of bed at five am, we barely realize he's there." She reached for another roll from the basket.

"That's the crack of dawn!" Steph said, mouth opening in shock. "Especially for you."

"That was exactly his point. He wanted the best light for the _family photo shoot_ this morning." Rory sighed, beginning to feel her early wakeup despite the nearly two hour nap with Laylee earlier that morning.

"Wow. I don't know if I would have agreed to that. But anyway, I have to tell you about my new insane boss…" Steph went on, but Rory was distracted. In her direct line of sight behind Steph, Honor was walking with some of her friends, at least two of whom Rory recognized from Honor's wedding party. They were chatting together, all carrying shopping bags. Rory's mouth fell open in shock, alerting Steph to her wavering attention. "Rory, are you listening?"

"What? Yeah, I just…" Rory trailed off, unable to take her eyes off her sister-in-law. Steph followed her gaze, smiling in recognition and then frowning as she took in the details of the familiar woman.

"Is that Honor?" she asked, almost as shocked as Rory at the obvious change in the older blonde.

"It sure is."

"Did you…" She trailed off, turning to look at Rory again.

"No." Rory's hurt tone did not leave any room for doubt.

* * *

><p>Honor's old bridesmaid, Blondie, turned to her and said. "Honor, isn't that your sister-in-law staring at us? The one that just had a baby?"<p>

"What? I only have one sister-in-law; Josh is an only child." Honor rolled her eyes but looked ahead, guilt painting her face as she spotted Rory and took in her shocked expression. "Oh God, it is her. I have to go talk to her." She quickly approached Steph and Rory. Honor schooled her expression, making sure there was a smile on her face as she stopped by their table. "Surprise!"

"Definitely a surprise," Rory said, trying to fight off the angry feelings bubbling inside of her.

"Rory…" Honor started, smile gone, replaced with an apologetic look.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Rory asked, convincing herself that there must be a logical explanation.

"You were in the middle of so much, I wasn't sure you'd want to know." Honor knew it was a lame excuse, but couldn't bring herself to tell the women who was the closest thing to a sister she ever had that she just didn't know what to say to her anymore.

"You didn't think I'd want to know?! And Logan? What about him? He's your brother!" Rory was struggling more and more to keep her emotions in check, her heart beating wildly and her eyes starting to cloud with tears.

"This isn't about Logan and you know it," Honor said quietly, looking anywhere but Rory's face. Steph was watching the scene in shock, torn between jumping to Rory's aid and just letting them hash it out themselves.

"So he knows? And he kept it from me?" Rory tone got quiet. The anger was lessened, replaced mostly with hurt that clearly radiating from her expression.

"No, no. He wouldn't have ever. I haven't told him either." Tears were silently rolling down Rory's cheeks now, and Honor's stomach was clenching with guilt. Rory felt as if she was about to burst. She leveled a look at Honor, eyes shooting an angry glare toward a woman she had once trusted.

"Were you ever going to tell us, or were we just going to find out from the birth announcement?" she shot out, biting her lips in order to keep from crying outright.

"Rory…" Honor pitifully started again, soft look pleading with her.

"I mean, you must be at least twenty weeks by the looks of it!" Rory took in her rounded appearance, remembering Honor had been large in her pregnancy with Matty as well.

"Twenty-four, actually," she quietly said, not capable of looking Rory in the eyes anymore.

"Wow. Okay." Rory's shock was evident. In a quick move, she reached for her purse and took out her wallet. "I'm going to go. Steph, rain check?" She gave a quick glance toward her friend as she threw some money on the table. She collected her bags and turned to Honor. "Have an easy third trimester, I guess," she told her quietly, and started to walk away.

"Rory, come on, please." Honor reached out to grab her arm, but Rory dodged her and moved away quickly.

"I'll go after her," Steph said, shooting Honor an apologetic glance as she threw some more money on the table (the waiter was now very generously tipped) before following her friend.

"Your sister-in-law is a bit of a drama queen," Blondie commented, making a smacking noise with her lips as the group rejoined Honor.

Honor turned to her, clearly upset. "Shut up." She gave her a look that clearly meant she wanted to hear nothing more on the subject from any one of them.

* * *

><p>Steph had caught up with her by her car. Rory was standing by the open trunk and angrily trying to wipe away the tears. "Ror… Look at me." She laid a hand on her shoulder, and gently turned her around so that they were facing each other.<p>

"Did she not think we'd be happy for them?" Rory asked, no longer even trying to stop the tears. "Did she think I wouldn't be happy to have another niece or nephew? I love Matty!" Her face showed pain, anger and hurt.

"I'm sure that wasn't-" Steph started.

"No! I just wish everyone would stop treating me like fragile china. I'm not going to just break at any moment," she stopped speaking as her sobbing took over.

"We know that," Steph gently told her, fishing a tissue out of her purse.

"Do you? Because I feel like people are treating me with silk gloves and hiding things from me because they think I can't handle it!" Anger and frustration were taking over now, and her blue eyes were blazing, red-rimmed.

"That's not it-" Steph tried to interject, only to be interrupted by the continuation of the rant.

"I had a preemie, we are dealing. She's doing well!"

"We know that Ror." She finally was able to make eye contact, holding a steady gaze as she tried to calmly convey what she wanted to tell her. "We're just trying to find the best way to help, honestly."

"Then tell them, tell everyone, to treat me, us, like always. Call us, come hang out, be in touch. We'll tell you if we can't. But I haven't heard from Colin or Rose, or you for a while, and no one likes to be abandoned by their friends," she ranted on, slightly calmer and with fewer tears.

"Ok. I'll pass along the message." Stephanie handed her a tissue from the packet with a small smile. "And we'll try lunch again next week, okay? I'm usually off most of Thursday; it's my easy day".

"Sure. You could come over then and see Laylee, if you'd like," Rory suggested, wiping her cheeks and sniffling slightly.

"Or we can meet at an open place so that she can come and no one has to cook?"

"You got it. She smiles now, you know." Rory felt the need to snuggle her little one, and smiled at the prospect.

"Wow! I can't wait to see that little peanut." Steph shone with excitement. "Now go home and show your husband that dress that makes you look like a goddess."

"Thanks, Steph. I mean it." She smiled slightly, hugging her friend before getting in to the car. She was beyond ready to snuggle her baby, but knew that once she got home she would need to break it to her husband that his sister has been hiding her pregnancy from them.

* * *

><p>By the time Rory got home, she felt like someone had taken all of the wind out of her sails. She opened the mirror on the visor, and looked at herself. Her eyes were still a little red, her cheeks tear-stained, and her hair was coming out of her ponytail. She looked tired and drained, so different from the vibrant self of earlier in the day. Taking a deep breath, she conjured all of the positive memories of the day- her fun time shopping with Steph and taking pictures with her family- and got out of the car, collected her stuff and went into the house. She opened the door quietly, put down her purse, and made the way towards her bedroom. On the way, she passed Finn sleeping on the couch with his laptop on his lap, and Laylee in the bassinet piece of the stroller. She paused over Laylee, gently rubbing her finger over the baby's soft cheek, and then decided to change course. She hung the bags on the railing, and walked towards the office. Noticing that Logan was talking to someone on the phone, she gave him a small smile and planted herself on his lap, knees thrown over the arm of his chair, head burrowing into his chest as she inhaled that scent that was purely Logan.<p>

Logan knew something was wrong the second he spotted her. Her cheeks were blotchy and her eyes were bright, that familiar shining blue surrounded by red rims. But it was the eager search for comfort that convinced him that something was just not right. He wrapped his spare arm around her, and interjected into the conference call. "It sounds great guys, but I have to run. I'll get the minutes later from Mandy." He hung up, making a note to ask his secretary. He then wrapped both his arms around his wife, shifting a little to make them both more comfortable.

"How was shopping with Steph?" he asked tentatively.

"Great. Until your sister showed up," she mumbled into his chest, not looking at him and not wanting to tell him what happened.

"You saw Honor?" He frowned, trying to figure out why seeing his sister would upset her, as they usually shared a close relationship.

"More like had a run in with Honor," she said, finally looking at him. She took a deep breath. "She's twenty-four weeks pregnant," she blurted, watching as his eyes widened with shock as hers had done only a short time before.

"Twenty-four weeks? She's almost done!" he exclaimed, and then winced, realizing that that was the last thing he would wish on his sister. He looked at Rory again. "Is that why you were crying? Because Honor is pregnant?" He didn't know what to feel about his sister not telling them about her pregnancy, but he could figure out his own feelings later. Right now, he was more worried about Rory.

"Not because she's pregnant. I knew she wanted more kids. Just because she didn't tell us." She lay her head back down on his chest. "She said she didn't think we'd want to know because of everything that went on with Laylee."

"I see." Anger was starting to bubble inside of him despite himself, and the feeling of betrayal seeped into his heart. "Do you-" he started and then stopped.

"Do I what?" she asked, picking up her head and looking at him again.

"Do you think we'd have reacted better had she told us when we were still in the hospital?" She could clearly see that he was hurt, and her heart went out to him. He clearly did not know what he should feel, and was looking towards her for guidance. "Have we really been that incommunicado since we got home?"

"I think that maybe it would've been harder for us, but we'd have been happy for her," she told him honestly, choosing to not admit that they had pretty much cut themselves off from the world around them to deal with their new reality.

"Are we not happy for her now?" he asked, searching her face.

"Of course we are. I am! Just- You know..." She looked into those chocolate eyes. "Just hurt that my own sister-in-law, my friend, didn't tell me about such an important thing in her life. And maybe I'm a little mad at myself for not being able to see – well, the signs, or anything beyond my own nose."

"Don't be. We were busy, and we had to take care of ourselves for our baby." He squeezed her in his arms. "I'm happy for her too," he quietly whispered into her hair.

* * *

><p>That evening, she was sitting on their bed and writing while Logan gave Laylee a bath. She was concentrating heavily on her writing, pouring into it all her happiness and frustration from the last day. She knew that most of what she was writing now wouldn't survive her ruthless editing, but it felt good to get it all out, to finally verbalize what she is feeling.<p>

When Logan came into the room with a child ready for her bedtime routine, she motioned for him to sit with her on the bed. When he did, she placed the laptop in front of him, the two columns she had edited the previous day open. She gestured that he should read it while she took the baby and diverted her attention to getting her ready for bed. When Laylee started nursing, she snuck a peek at him, touched by how intently he was reading it, and by all of the emotions portrayed on his face. When Laylee finished, Rory gently rocked her and laid her in the bassinet. Logan ghosted a hand near that baby's head, not quite touching it so he didn't disturb her, and they both left the room to allow her to fall asleep. Once they were out of their room, Logan pulled her towards him.

"What do you think?" she finally asked, after he released her from his embrace. She wanted his opinion as an editor, as a newspaper man, and not as her husband.

"I think it's good. Interesting, original. Could make a nice column or a series. Needs some polishing though," he told her honestly, pulling her down the stairs as he spoke.

"I thought it could be a series. Or I could freelance a column somewhere," she offered hesitantly.

"You definitely have the material there," he assured her as they walked through the door to the living room. "Maybe ask Hugo or Steve what they think?" he suggested, mentioning the editor she had freelanced for before Laylee.

"That's a good idea. Maybe I'll edit some more pieces and send them in as a group," she said, settling in next to him on the couch.

"Sounds good. Want to watch a movie or some CSI?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, settling in for the evening. He was happy to see her doing something productive, using a positive outlet and acting more like herself. If this was her way of dealing, of channeling her frustrations, anger, anxiety and happiness, he was happy to support her.

* * *

><p><strong>I know I shouldn't, but i'm begging you- review! it makes my creative juices flow, and I need it to finish! <strong>


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